If you want great, traditional ethnic food like dim sum, you’re going to have to eat out in the ‘burbs. There’s just no way around that fact. Sure, there are really high end dim sum places like Ping Pong in DC, but the food there comes at a higher price point, not to mention that the dishes are “safe bets” with most diners.

To get a bit more adventurous, you’ll have to go to places like A&J Restaurant in Annandale. The restaurant, tucked away in a little mixed use retail building off of Little River Turnpike, has been there for as long as I can remember. The faux stone facades and Chinese decor are a bit dated, but they work well enough to give the place a bit of character.

There are traditional dim sum dishes, such as the Steamed Pork ( ’buns’ as they were listed on the menu) Dumplings, which are rice crepe wrapped and served in well used aluminum tins. These dumplings aren’t the most flavorful, or beautifully presented, but certainly get the job done.

I’d never feel completely satisfied without having an order of the Pan Fried Dumplings, served as long logs of deliciously fried goodness. The downside to getting eight enormous dumplings here is that for the most part, these dumplings are fairly lackluster in taste. A pot of chili garlic oil on your table comes in very handy to remedy this, as does the decanter of soy sauce within arm’s length. It’s a shame that this dish doesn’t come with a dumpling sauce to complement it.

The wonton soup remains a classic. Boiled dumplings in broth with strips of egg and scallions, these are a perfect remedy for blustery winter days. A must have if you’re new to Chinese food, and a warm “comfort food” soup if you’re not.

The menu goes a bit beyond typical dim sum dishes with the likes of this Bean Curd Skin with Mustard Greens and Soy Beans (Edamame). It’s a great dish for vegetarians, or those who want to try something a bit different beyond the various dumplings, buns, and tarts served at more Americanized dim sum houses.

If you’re really adventurous, try the bean curd with a 1000 year old egg. The egg really isn’t a 1000 years old, but rather a regular egg that’s been preserved in a mixture of clay, ash, salt, and lime that gives it a unique appearance. The egg white turns black and the yolk turns a slightly greenish color, but the creamy taste combined with the bean curd is amazing, and by far my favorite dish of the meal. The creaminess reminded me somewhat of a ricotta cheese, but with a much better overall flavor.

Worst case scenario, if you find that you’re just not in the mood for dumplings or various plates like the above, you can always opt for a bowl of noodles, which come in a multitude of varieties, like the spicy beef and tendon noodle soup below. You have your choice of wide or vermicelli style noodles,  just make sure to specify your preference to your server.

One of the great things about a meal here is the ridiculous cheap prices, which are more than reasonable, and make it very accessible to get in your dumpling fix when you’re in the neighborhood looking for something to eat. The food here is good for the most part, and some dishes truly stand out as must haves, like the bean curd with a 1000 year egg.  Be adventurous, try something that looks like it could be interesting, and you’ll be a better, more cultured gastronomycist for it.

See A&J Restaurant in Annandale here. There’s also one in Rockville, which you can find here.

Recommended For:

• Frugalistas
• First Dates
• Family Get-togethers
• Vegetarians
• Tapas Hounds

Not Recommended For:

• Wall Street Protests
• Vegans
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Burning Man Baccalaureates

To anybody who doesn’t visit Chinatown in NYC regularly, it’s tough to pick out which restaurant is going to be a good place to plop yourself into a chair and getcha nom on for a midday yum cha (dim sum/Chinese brunch). Thankfully, Jen and I were in the area at the same time as my Mom, who had scooped a table out for us to have lunch (Thanks Mom!) at Jing Fong.

You’ll find a traditional Chinese dim sum served here on the second floor of the restaurant, albeit on a completely different caliber than what we’re used to DC. The restaurant itself, for instance, shows that the owners have invested more than a nominal sum into the interior, with golden dragons, enormous crystal chandeliers, and electric blue cove lighting. The girls and women who push the carts of food are adorned in cheery orange shirts and red aprons, complete with matching bandanas to top it all off.

The bamboo steamer baskets are also much nicer here, without a single sighting of the dented metal ones found in other restaurants. Instead, high quality steamers with olive green end caps are used. It’s a small touch to add to the presentation of the food, but does not and should not go unnoticed.

Even these delicately fried dumplings with a noodle coating are new to me. What the hell are these things? The crispy texture explodes with every bite, crackling like a falling redwood tree in the forest, and packed with a shrimp filling.

Traditional favorites such as the cha siu bao (steamed BBQ pork bun, left) and the har gao (steamed shrimp dumpling, right), are out in full force and as every bit as good as they should be. I couldn’t taste them being BETTER through any differentiation of ingredients, but they definitely tasted fresher. The buns here are fluffy and light, while the dumplings are well stuffed with a shrimp filling.

Dessert buns are out roaming about on carts, such as the custard filled buns on the left, or the traditional ma lai go (steamed sweet sponge cake) on the right. I don’t know that I’ve ever had the ones on the left, but I do that the sponge cake is a much rarer sight in the District, if it even exists around here at all. The added fact that this cake is not simply baked but rolled as well shows off the kitchen’s skills at putting out amazing desserts.

The head chef also takes some unique interpretations of desserts, such as this dessert, a fried glutinous rice ball filled with a sweet sesame paste and usually completely coated with sesame seeds- but Jing Fong opts for a pinch of black sesame seeds instead. These were hot, chewy, and amazing, a far cry from the room temperature ones that I’m used to being served around the District.

If you’re still not satisfied with the myriad of plates and steamers that come rolling by your table, there’s the added bonus of going up to the buffet line and ordering a plate of something else that might catch your tie (and tug on your stomach) such as pan fried dumplings, pan fried noodles, meat plates, and fried vegetable plates.

There is, however, a single, wretched downside to eating here. If you’ve ever eaten at a traditional dim sum restaurant, you know that the wait times can be lengthy to downright obnoxious. With Jing Fong, it’s practically a mob scene at the entrance, with hundreds of people milling about on a weekend afternoon, all waiting for a table to get their noms in. My Mom definitely came through for Jen and me on getting a table here. If anything, I’d say the popularity is a testament to the quality of the food and the entire experience of eating here. Plan on getting here on the early side of the afternoon if you want to ditch the wait.

How could you not be completely won over by the website’s assurance, “Thirty years experienced and famous, gold lacquer brand, assurance.”

I gotta get me some gold lacquer brands. Hungry Chinese people love gold lacquer brands.

See Jing Fong on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Chinese Cheatmeals
• Vegetarians
• Food Coma Inducing Feeding Frenzies
• Thanksgiving Dinner
• Christmas Dinner

Not Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Wedding Proposals
• Hangover Helpers
• Interior Design Professionals

Ping Pong is just two blocks north of the Chinatown/Gallery Place Metro on the Red line, close enough to still be considered a part of Chinatown DC proper. If you’re not entirely sure of this fact, look across the street. Even the Hooters has Chinese script on their sign out front. Have you ever seen Chinese Hooters?

No?

Me neither.

I’m not writing this post to talk about Hooters though, it’s about the latest addition to Chinatown’s actual Chinese food offerings.  I can’t remember the last time that’s happened.  So what makes Ping Pong so great?

Dim Sum.

All.

Day.

Long.

It’s almost my fantasties come true (throw in a pool noodle, a ping pong paddle, lots of bacon grease, and some bunny slippers, and we’re a lot closer).   I love yum cha.  Why?  It’s my gastro-fascination with compartmentalized food, which is clearly a result of my upbringing.  Yum cha was a regular event when I was growing up, so I was frequently exposed to steamed buns, dumplings, all all sorts of delicious Chinese delicacies.  So when Jen and I were walking around town, I made it with no unclear terms that we MUST eat there.

The decor is sleek and modern, outfitted as a modern Chinese teahouse.  Black paneled wood adorns the walls as well as the furniture, and seats are either stools or benches, just like you’d find in China.

Maybe in 3000 BC.

Still, it’s not a discredit to the efforts of the decorator-  everything is tastefully done.  The restaurant has a very open and expansive feeling, and nothing comes off as gaudy or cheap.

The food is admittedly a bit more expensive than what you’d pay at any other local yum cha-ery, and you don’t have quite the same experience.  Little steel cart mavens are not weaving between tables, hawking steel containers of delight. Tour buses do not drop off traveling, hungry, bug-eyed Chinese tourists here.  The bathrooms are not nuclear hazardous waste dump sites.

Definitely not quite the same experience.

The restaurant here wasn’t completely quiet, but perhaps us coming in at the tail-end of lunchtime helped.  We were immediately seated, and I dove into the food menu, as Jen did the same with the drinks.

It’s hard to recall exactly everything we ordered, as yum cha usually involves a large wide swath of destruction reaped on the food as soon as it’s brought to the table.  Jen and I did just that, like two raptors viciously tearing into a fallen T-Rex.  a raptor tearing into a T-Rex, and an ankylosaurus, gently nibbling on some trees.  We found it easiest to each go with a set menu that had a variety of things to try, and then added a few additional dishes a la carte.  All the fixed menus come with two baked vegetable buns, stuffed with mooli and spring onions.

Jen had the Vegetarian Lunch (2 golden vegetable dumplings, 1 vegetable bao (white bun) , 2 spicy vegetable dumplings, 1 vegetarian sticky rice parcel) and I went with something, well, more appropriately named to my fixation on yum cha.  The ‘Dumpling Fix’.

Dumpling Fix - 1 chive dumpling, 1 shrimp dumpling, 1 scallop and shiitake dumpling, 1 seafood dumpling, 1 golden vegetable dumpling, 1 spicy chicken dumpling, and a sticky rice parcel

We added several other dishes, like the Char Siu Bao (BBQ Pork Bun) for me, some vegetarian spring rolls for the two of us to share, and even some Valhalla Chocolate Buns for dessert.

Char Siu Bao

Spring Rolls

Valhalla Chocolate Buns

I was very happy with the food here.  The dishes are excellent, and some of the modern twists and uses of high quality ingredients are evident with every bite.  Jen enjoyed the food as well, but maybe not to the same levels of fanaticism displayed by me.

I’d highly recommend Ping Pong to anyone who enjoys Chinese food (and who doesn’t enjoy Chinese food? Maybe the Taiwanese)  and the all-day availability is a huge bonus.  Steamed prawn dumplings at 11am?  No problem.  BBQ pork buns for a mid-afternoon snack?  No problem.  Sticky rice parcels at 9pm?  No problem.  A Chinese hooker who claims she has your baby after your last visit to Shanghai three years ago?

Well.  That’s definitely a problem.

So what gives?  Why is this place so different from your typical American yum cha establishments?

It turns out that Ping Pong is actually a chain, imported straight over the pond from London, where they boast 12 locations throughout the city full of limey blokes, wankers, and chavs (just kidding, I actually love the Brits).  And the universal truth of British gastronomy still stands- The only good food you’ll find in London is either going to be Indian, Middle Eastern, or Chinese.

Ping Pong can be seen on a map here.

Recommended for:

• Dumpling whores
• Chinese food lovers
• Vegetarians
• Germaphobes

Not Recommended for:

• Budget diners
• Chopstick klutzes
• Zone Dieters
• Paleo heads

Cafe Atlantico holds a Latino Dim Sum brunch every Sunday morning up until 1:30 in the afternoon, and after reading a glowing review, I decided to get a few people together for their tasting menu. The tasting menu consists of 14 dishes for $35, or a 12 dish vegetarian tasting menu for $25, which was great for Jen. The restaurant is painted in bright, cheerful colors with large abstract paintings hanging from the walls. It’s a bit odd to have separate hostesses on both the first and second floors, but I didn’t really question their policies. We were seated quickly, and just barely catching the tail end of the tasting menu offering in the early afternoon.

We were first treated with a canape style dish of cherry tomatoes paired with cantaloupe and heavy hits of parsley, which really weren’t too impressive, and actually had me slightly worried with such a weak starting dish. Not to say that it was bad, but it wasn’t particularly flavorful, and seemed like an odd dish to serve as a palette cleanser.

Tomato and Cantaloupe

Then the flurry of dishes began. We were served with raw oysters with a mango lime oil, mango-anchovy ravioli, and tuna ceviche with coconut. The server was clearly not very confident in his English speaking abilities, and trailed off in his announcement of the mango-anchovy ravioli, so we were all under the impression that it was just a mango cream ravioli.

Including Jen.

She took a bite, and almost threw up on the spot. Think of bringing a glass of water to your mouth and taking a deep gulp, only to find as it burns your esophagus to lava that you’re drinking a glass of straight Kentucky Moonshine. I don’t blame her, and actually felt really bad, because anchovies aren’t exactly a mild flavor. In fact, I actually enjoy anchovies, and even I found these things pretty disgusting.

From top left, clockwise: Oysters, Mango-Anchovy Ravioli, Tuna ceviche

The oysters and tuna ceviche were decent, but didn’t really stand out at all. The flavors were bland and uninspired, and there was nothing particularly intriguing about the textures of any of these three dishes.

Oysters with Mango-Lime Oil

Tuna Ceviche with Coconut

This wasn’t heading in a good direction.

The next dish was a vegetarian dish, plantain chips with shaved slices of pineapple. The plaintain chips weren’t particularly remarkable, but the shaved pineapple was definitely something different and worth crediting to the chefs preparing our food. The dishes were a huge step up from the previous three, but only because the three seafood dishes were so disappointing did it really make the pineapple and plantain chips shine.

The next round of dishes were little shooters of potato and vanilla mousse with caviar (sans caviar for Jen). This turned out to be one of my two favorite dishes of the meal, with a great smooth texture and taste. The other shooter glasses were filled with a hot and cold foie gras with corn soup, but these had no substantial taste to them, and seemed to be little more than cups of slightly flavored foam. If there was supposed to be a sublime enjoyment of this as a Picasso of edible delicacies, it was completely missed by me.

Potoato Vanilla Mousse and Hot/Cold Foie Gras Corn Soup

The other dish that turned out to be a solid dish were the conch fritters with a liquid center. Deep fried and slightly crispy on the outside, with a molten hot center, these were fantastic.

Conch Fritters with a Liquid Center

Jen was treated with a jicama-avocado ravioli, which turned out pretty well, but again, seemed odd with the soft ravioli skin on the outside and a creamy avocado inside, with little crunch or texture to offset the flavors. She enjoyed them, but I felt like it was another poorly executed dish, although it did have a very nice aesthetic.

Jicama Avocado Ravioli

The mushroom with egg 63, a sauteed mushroom dish topped with a poached egg, was definitely interesting, but there was almost no way to get all of the poached egg into your mouth with just the mushrooms it was served with. I felt like the dish could have used some sort of bread or absorbent vegetable to help sop up the egg without having it all go to waste. What does the 63 stand for? Probably the number of iterations it took the restaurant to get this dish to even this crappy level of ‘perfection’.

Mushrooms with Egg 63

I feel like at this point, I should really stop going into each and every single dish. Overall, the Latino Dim Sum was a huge disappointment. There are definitely some choice dishes that stand out and salvage the meal from being a complete disaster, but overall, the experience is a giant FAIL. When you are one dish away from the finale, you are allowed to order any of your sampled dishes again, so we had another round of the jicama-avocado raviolis, the mushroom vanilla mousse, and the conch fritters, which helped bring up the enjoyment of the meal a notch. The guacamole isn’t included in the meal, but I put in an order for the table prepped green cream just so we’d have something else that couldn’t be screwed up. In truth, their guacamole is actually very good, and another solid dish that helps balance the army of bad dishes from the tasting menu.

Tableside guacamole

In Paris, they call it L'Avocado Cream de Fattique

The last dish, a dessert, is best described as a crustless french toast with queso cheese and maple syrup. It’s an interesting dish that works, but isn’t richly satisfying as you would expect.

Pan dulce with cinnamon syrup

Jen actually didn’t really care for this dish, but I couldn’t get enough of it. Mostly because I was still drowning out the anchovy flavors from earlier.

While this foray of flavors could be touted as a great value, in the end, I wouldn’t recommend this place to anyone as a destination. There are some standouts that don’t make it a complete outrage, but I could be served up with four cold pizzas from the night before, and be exponentially happier. If anything, I think this place really highlights the fact that it does take an adventurous kitchen to create fine foods that are unique and look amazing, but you simply can’t neglect the most fundamental point, that it has to taste good, too.

minibar, a small six seat section of the restaurant, stands as its own entity from Cafe Atlantico, and the two only share the same space, but not the same chefs or menus. I won’t hold Cafe Atlantico’s poor food against minibar, and still hope to one day give it it’s fair day in court.

View a map of Cafe Atlantico here.

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China Garden is just one of the few places in the DC metro area that serves an authentic dim sum (or yum cha) brunch on the weekends.

Let’s back up a second here and get you acquainted a bit with the terms.  Dim Sum, literally translated as “Touch the Heart”, refers to a Canton style brunch where restaurants have young Chinese women push stainless steel carts between tables, with each cart holding numerous dishes of seafood, pork, beef, chicken, vegetables, and desserts.  These dishes are served in steamers or small plates, and typically are served in portions for two to four people to share.  The phrase Yum Cha translates to “drinking tea”, and can be interchanged with the phrase Dim Sum, as they both refer to the same meal.

I’ll be the first to admit, the experience of yum cha in this area isn’t really the most pleasant.  The typical patrons lack tradional Western manners, which may be perceived as rude or even slightly unpleasant.  The hostesses and waiters tend to be very direct without the niceties, although the cart pushing girls are a little bit better.  The tables are usually clean, but you shouldn’t be surprised if they are a tad greasy when you arrive…and don’t bother queuing up unless you’ve got everyone who’s going to eat with you, or you’ll be shunned by herr hostess without a bat of an eye.

The bathrooms, well, let’s just say I strongly encourage you to hold your bladder, or find a place elsewhere to do your business after yum cha.

But don’t be scurred.  There’s a one really, really good reason why I’ll ignore all that and come to China Garden, time after time.

Dumplings

Carrot Sesame Paste Pastries

Taro Cakes

Egg Custard Tart

The food you get at yum cha is phenomenal.  A huge array of compartmentalized dishes, each with their own distinct tastes and flavors.  The dumplings and buns are by far some of my favorites, with the soft breaded exterior secretly holding delicious variations of meat or custards inside that are so incredibly delicious.

The one caveat is that you’ll have to steel yourself and come with an open mind for tastes and textures.  There are definitely a handful of dishes that are way off some people’s tolerance for consumption.  For example, chicken feet.  It’s a delicacy in China, and America, apparently, exports some of the best chicken feet in the world.  So good it’ll prevent a trade war between the two countries.

Still not good enough for me to ever eat them.  I’ve tried it once, and…BLARGH.  Not my cup of cha.

But BBQ pork buns?

Baked custard buns?

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

LOLWTFBBQPORKBUNS

Definitely $240 worth of pudding. Er, custard.

And the icing on the cake?  Most dishes won’t run you more than $4 a pop.

So a solid gorgeathon here will, with a generous tip, drain your wallet of about $16-25.  Not too shabby!

Most yum cha establishments have vegetarian dishes, but I wouldn’t feel entirely comfortable taking Jen here because I can’t definitively say that the vegetarian dishes we would order are definitely meat-product free. With that being said, there is a vegetarian only dim sum restaurant in New York’s Chinatown that is worth a visit.

China Garden is for:

• adventerous eaters
• dumpling lovers
• proficient chopstickers
• budget diners
• meat lovers
• gluttons

China Garden is NOT for:

• vegetarians
• germaphobes
• claustrophobes
• restricted carb diets
• paleo eaters
• mermaids

China Garden is located on the Mezzanine level of the Channel 8 7 building in Rosslyn. View a map here.

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