Have you ever seen a Matryoshka doll? They’re the wooden nesting dolls, with a doll inside of another doll inside of another doll. Sound familiar yet?

That’s exactly what comes to mind for me when I think of the “restaurant inside a restaurant” theme. In similar ingenuity, a restauranteur can open a smaller, specialized restaurant inside one of their existing spaces without necessitating the need to find an appropriate retail space. Such is the story of Farrah Olivia, the higher end Italian themed mini-restaurant inside of Kora. Both are named after the daughters of Chef Morou, having appearances on both Iron Chef America and The Next Iron Chef under his belt. It would be natural then, to have at least somewhat higher expectations of this restaurant than Kora.

On a weekend night, it’s surprisingly easy to obtain reservations for a table here, but the Crystal City area in Arlington isn’t exactly known for being a hotspot for yuppies and yupsters looking to hang out on a night off. Jen and I ended up being one of two tables dining there during our entire meal, served by a lone waiter who was unavailable often enough for me to believe that he was servicing tables at Kora as well.

Aside from a basket of warm housemade bread and a quartet of spreads, the chef further extends a warm invitation with an amuse bouche of a deep fried dumpling sliced in half and served atop a small pool of sauce, a touch that I greatly appreciated, almost doubly so as I thought about eating Jen’s as well while she was on an excursion to wash her hands in the ladies’ room. No fancy molecular gastronomy or bleeding edge cooking techniques, but just a simple, well prepared start of a meal. The dough is fried crispy to the point of adding texture without being excessively crisp.

The Painted Gazpacho is a beautiful dish (ever so slightly tipped over by our server), a yin and yang combination of chilled eggplant and tomato basil soup.  It sings notes on your palette as beautifully as the presentation of the dish itself.

The Goat Cheese Gnudi here is the exact same served at Kora, and to this day remains one of my favorites. Jen and I both ordered it- Jen as her entree, and for me, as my appetizer. Served with tomatoes, artichokes, onions, and arugula, this is a hearty and enjoyable dish. That is, if it’s prepared correctly. My dish was served with just a bit of dressing, enough to give the dish an adequate amount of moisture, whereas Jen’s dish was devoid of the same sauce altogether and being a much less enjoyable affair to eat.

As an entree, I ordered the Fillet of Beef, served with foie gras butter, fried shiitake mushrooms, date wine, and a spinach gratin cake, served on a painter’s palette as you dabble and mix flavors. A literal encouragement to play with your food. Everything on my order was served perfectly, from the fillet being cooked to a medium rare, to the complementing tastes of the sauces, butters, and condiments on my plate. All this to my relief, as I had previously overheard one of the patrons at the other table sending back her fillet several minutes prior for being way too undercooked.

All of this is to say that while Farrah Olivia aims to be of the highest caliber, it seems miss the mark on several points for being what could be conceivably considered “the fancy Kora”. Lacking consistency in its dishes and what appeared to be a server shared between two restaurants, I’m glad to to know that Chef Morou is able to keep Farrah Olivia afloat on the shoulders of a much more successful Kora- I doubt this restaurant would be able to continue purely on its own.

See Farrah Olivia on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Wandering Wayfarers
• Business Jerks
• Special Occasions
• Gnudist Camp

Not Recommended For:

• Hotspot Hunters
• Starvin’ Marvins
• Paleoheads
• Frugalistas

Rosslyn is almost a complete dead zone for high quality, satisfying food, save for a few restaurants that tend to get a majority of the patronage. Michael Landrum, owner of the various Ray’s restaurants include Ray’s the Steaks, Ray’s Hellburger, Ray’s the third, closed the popular Ray’s Hellburger Two a few weeks ago without announcement. Not that it was a huge loss, with Ray’s Hellburger just a few doors down, still slinging out the best burgers in the area.

With a similar unceremonious gesture, the old Ray’s Hellburger Two was suddenly reopened and christened Ray’s Steak and Cheese. Clearly delineating the difference between his sammich from a ‘cheesesteak’, or even a ‘Philly cheesesteak’, the restaurant has a very limited menu of an 8 oz. sirloin and ribeye steak and cheese sammich served on a toasted roll, with your choice of lettuce (gratis), tomato (gratis), peppers, charred jalapenos, and sauteed mushrooms, cooked to a medium rare unless asked otherwise.

The problem is…well, there is no problem. The sammich is incredibly delicious. The tender cuts of ribeye and sirloin are heightened with a generous coat of cheddar, nestled in a soft sub roll and only further heightened with the addition of peppers and sauteed mushrooms. Do yourself a favor, however, and just skip the lettuce and tomato. There’s no need for any of that to defile this work of beauty. Each bite is as good as the last, and I was only dissuaded from going to order a second were it not for the line that had appeared in front of the register.

You do have the option to order a side of tater tots, extra crispy and piping hot pillows of potatoes and salted for just the right amount of flavor. Beer, root beer, and wine are all also available to help you wash down a meal that has enough staying power to keep with you for the rest of your day.

The restaurant is cash only, so be prepared to pay with paper, your plastic card won’t do you much good here. That is, unless you’re willing to brave the world of ATM fees, with a machine situated conveniently next to the registers in the back of the establishment.

The sammiches, which run $10.99, seemed a bit on the expensive side to me. But given the fact that they’re made with such high quality cuts of steak, I’d say in retrospect that’s it’s a pretty reasonable price for the meal.

Service is overwhelmingly accommodating and easy, as long as you know the process. Go towards the registers in the back, order your meal, take your receipt, and hang out while you wait for your meal to be delivered to your table. Easy, right? Try and get there before noon and you’ll have a better chance of beating the crowds.

See Ray’s Steak & Cheese on a map here (there’s no sign anywhere near the restaurant itself).

Recommended For:

• Moo
• Burgered-out Bonvivants
• Cheesesteak Cherubs

Not Recommended For:

• Vegetarians
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Lipitor Lovers

If you want great, traditional ethnic food like dim sum, you’re going to have to eat out in the ‘burbs. There’s just no way around that fact. Sure, there are really high end dim sum places like Ping Pong in DC, but the food there comes at a higher price point, not to mention that the dishes are “safe bets” with most diners.

To get a bit more adventurous, you’ll have to go to places like A&J Restaurant in Annandale. The restaurant, tucked away in a little mixed use retail building off of Little River Turnpike, has been there for as long as I can remember. The faux stone facades and Chinese decor are a bit dated, but they work well enough to give the place a bit of character.

There are traditional dim sum dishes, such as the Steamed Pork ( ’buns’ as they were listed on the menu) Dumplings, which are rice crepe wrapped and served in well used aluminum tins. These dumplings aren’t the most flavorful, or beautifully presented, but certainly get the job done.

I’d never feel completely satisfied without having an order of the Pan Fried Dumplings, served as long logs of deliciously fried goodness. The downside to getting eight enormous dumplings here is that for the most part, these dumplings are fairly lackluster in taste. A pot of chili garlic oil on your table comes in very handy to remedy this, as does the decanter of soy sauce within arm’s length. It’s a shame that this dish doesn’t come with a dumpling sauce to complement it.

The wonton soup remains a classic. Boiled dumplings in broth with strips of egg and scallions, these are a perfect remedy for blustery winter days. A must have if you’re new to Chinese food, and a warm “comfort food” soup if you’re not.

The menu goes a bit beyond typical dim sum dishes with the likes of this Bean Curd Skin with Mustard Greens and Soy Beans (Edamame). It’s a great dish for vegetarians, or those who want to try something a bit different beyond the various dumplings, buns, and tarts served at more Americanized dim sum houses.

If you’re really adventurous, try the bean curd with a 1000 year old egg. The egg really isn’t a 1000 years old, but rather a regular egg that’s been preserved in a mixture of clay, ash, salt, and lime that gives it a unique appearance. The egg white turns black and the yolk turns a slightly greenish color, but the creamy taste combined with the bean curd is amazing, and by far my favorite dish of the meal. The creaminess reminded me somewhat of a ricotta cheese, but with a much better overall flavor.

Worst case scenario, if you find that you’re just not in the mood for dumplings or various plates like the above, you can always opt for a bowl of noodles, which come in a multitude of varieties, like the spicy beef and tendon noodle soup below. You have your choice of wide or vermicelli style noodles,  just make sure to specify your preference to your server.

One of the great things about a meal here is the ridiculous cheap prices, which are more than reasonable, and make it very accessible to get in your dumpling fix when you’re in the neighborhood looking for something to eat. The food here is good for the most part, and some dishes truly stand out as must haves, like the bean curd with a 1000 year egg.  Be adventurous, try something that looks like it could be interesting, and you’ll be a better, more cultured gastronomycist for it.

See A&J Restaurant in Annandale here. There’s also one in Rockville, which you can find here.

Recommended For:

• Frugalistas
• First Dates
• Family Get-togethers
• Vegetarians
• Tapas Hounds

Not Recommended For:

• Wall Street Protests
• Vegans
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Burning Man Baccalaureates

If you ask anyone where the best Korean food is in DC, they’ll direct you down to the VA suburbs to Annandale, where the area has gradually become the epicenter of all things Korean. So much that it’s more commonly referred to as ‘K-town’.  Business signs flicker and glow at night with the Korean name first, and if you’re lucky, an English translation for you as an afterthought.

That shouldn’t preclude you from venturing through here and trying the food here.  Many of the restaurants stick to their roots with the interior design, but a few restaurants have started to realize that a more contemporary atmosphere will get a better draw of customers, especially like me.

I had heard of daMoim in passing, but didn’t think too much of it until a friend suggested that we try eating there one night for dinner. Tucked away in a strip mall next to the blaring thumps and off key singing of a karaoke bar, the furnishings here aren’t expensive, but nice enough to hold its own against some of the more cosmopolitan places I’ve eaten at in the District.

The menu boasts over 70 dishes, many that combine traditional Korean dishes with American flair. Beef short ribs (galbi) are optionally served as tacos. Spicy pork (jaeyook) can be prepared as a quesadilla with caramelized onions, then topped with cheddar and jack cheese. There’s even a daMoim burger – 8 ounces of  of beef topped with caramelized kimchi, and brought to your table in between a bun.

So what’s not to like?

The dumplings (mandu) here are deep fried pockets filled with pork and beef, although a vegetarian option is also available. I prefer my dumplings pan-fried myself, but there’s no skimping whatsoever here.

Traditional Korean plates like the short ribs (galbi dolsot bibimbap) are also available on the menu. The short ribs come served over a bed of rice, julienned carrots, sprouted soybeans, a fried egg, and a number of side dishes including kimchi, fried fish cakes, and a small bowl of zoup.

The most crucial part of eating here is, without a doubt, the house fried chicken. The mandatory 30 minute cooking time wait might seem daunting, but, take my word for it, it is unbelievably well worth it. With your choice of fresh  drumsticks, wings, or a combination of the two, cooked with either a spicy or soy ginger sauce, and served with a side dish of pickled radish cubes, I couldn’t believe how good these things were. Flash fried with no breading, these are a plate full of paleo crack.  Well again, technically paleo, I did taste a sugary sweetness to the sauce. Luckily for me, my fellow diner tapped out early, and I ended out the majority of our 12 drumstick order.

There are definitely some vegetarian items on the menu, but like most Korean spots, you’re better off coming here with some of your most meateatingest friends forever (mff’s).

Service is good, but not great. It’s a small place with what’s most likely a family run staff, so take your time to enjoy the meal. Don’t forget to stop by and get down with the karaoke bar next door after dinner.

Giiiiiiiiiirl, I think this yo’ song.

See daMoim, which is open Tuesday through Sunday, on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• Late Night Kimchi Fiends
• First Dates
• Frugalistas
• Kim Jong Illmatic

Not Recommended For:

• Vegans
• The Jane Austen Literary Club Monthly Meeting
• Car Free Carbon Credit Hippies
• Fifteen Minute Lunches

Jen and I were looking to get a late Sunday brunch, and with a number of doors already shutting down shop by 2pm, our options were limited to only a few places if we weren’t intending to chow down on vintage thrift rags or get by purely on the aromatics of the patchouli emanating from several Caucasian dreadlock rastas that ambled up and down the street.

Siips is but one of many small business storefronts that litter the mall along downtown Charlottesville, and during our search, one of the few places that would still seat us.  The outside seating is perfect to soak in some sun and watch both locals and college students walk by, and the interior of the restaurant is just as visually entertaining.  Racks and racks of wine line the floors, and the walls are peppered with art that’s also available for sale.

As the self proclaimed “Charlottesville’s Premier Wine & Champagne Bar”, Siips carries an extensive collection of wines, and on Sundays, you can take advantage of this fact by getting an open bottle discount on your Sunday morning eye opener.

Brunch menu items, however, are a bit of a downer. The conversation I had with our waiter went like this:

Me: Excuse me, Flo?

Waiter: My name’s Gregg.

Me: Right. Listen, Flo, what are the Pancakes Du Jour?

Waiter: They’re the pancakes of the day.

Me: That sounds good. I’ll have those. With a side of sausage.

The pancakes themselves were as well dressed as the Prince of Wales himself, and about as lively.  The best thing on my plate were the strawberries, which would have been great had I ordered a fruit salad. The pancakes were flat-borderline crepe-like, and the sausages looked like they could have been fresh…out of a Jimmy Dean bulk bag.

Jen’s Crepe du Jour (for those of you just joining, that’s Crepe of the Day) didn’t fare must better.  These charred “crepes” looked like somebody half attempted to roll a burrito, light it on fire, then drizzling it with honey and considering it “haute cuisine”.  But I’d never say that myself; that’s a disservice to the noble burrito. The crepes served were the kind of pretentiousness that I’d only expect from a place that would try calling themselves “The Best Wine Bar in Charlottesville in Comparison to the Swill those OTHER Places Serve”.

Her fruit salad, however, was delightful.

Service at Siips was decent but not as good as it could have been, considering we were likely one of a handful of tables eating a late lunch, and no patrons eating inside.

I’d venture to say we’ll not be coming back here to eat again.  I did manage grab an order of Marco & Luca dumplings on our way back to the car right after to help fill the void in my stomach.

See Siips on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Fruitarians
• Light Eaters
• Wine Aficionados
• Art Lovers

Not Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• French Cuisiine
• American Cuisiine
• Sunday Bruunch

A wholly vegetarian restaurant is quite the exotic experience for me.  I’m left at a loss of expectations before I even enter the front door.

Do I need to bring my passport?

Are they going to give me one of those uber-intrusive body scans, and check me for contraband weapons or meats?

Do they speak English?

Will they put me in the corner and eat in a cage if they smell jerky on my breath?

It’s not as bad as you’d think, dear meat eater.  Upon entrance, Sunflower is about as normal as you’d expect any place to be, except for a fetish-level adoration for all things sunflowers.  There’s a large, expensive-looking etched glass wall with a sunflower mural embedded inside.  A sunflower lamp hovers over many diners, looking as if it’s ready to erupt into showers like the produce section at your supermarket, only drenching patrons with delicious seeds.  Sunflower photos. Plush sunflowers. Ceramic sunflowers. Sunflowers made of the parts of lesser sunflowers. You get the point, right?  They wholly live up to their namesake.

The diners were few and far between, perhaps because we came in at an off hour, but I’m guessing more likely because there simply isn’t a huge population of vegetarians in the area.  Jen and I took a corner table, and poured over the options.  I was actually pleased with the fact that there were a copia of options available, so much, that I had some difficulty in picking something from the list.

The pan-fried dumplings were a no-brainer for us.  Realizing that I’ve got my girl hooked on the perfect parcels of deliciousness (as long as they’re stuffed with an assortment of non-meat ingredients), we ordered these, which come with your option of being served steamed or pan-fried.  Each dumpling is filled with napa cabbage, tofu, shiitake mushrooms, ‘bean thread’ noodles, and yuba.  What is yuba?  It’s a tofu ‘skin’ with the consistency of pasta, and not a smaller tuba or something in the family of trombones.  Clarinets, even.  I don’t care what you stuff a dumpling with, it comes down to the dumpling skin and the sauce that makes this dish, and I give Sunflower the seal of approval on these.  I do wish that the dumplings were accompanied by a sweet sauce rather than a soy sauce, but nonetheless, these are a great way to start your meal.

Jen order the General Tso’s Surprise (WUAHAHAHA, SURPRISE! NO MEAT!) which is apparently the restaurant’s best seller, and it’s not hard to tell why. Excellent presentation aside, the dish is absolutely loaded with giant chunks of soy protein, steamed broccoli and carrot slices, then covered in a tasty kung pao sauce.  The sauce really brings this dish together, and the freshness of the vegetables stands out, although I should expected as much with the type of restaurant we were dining in.

I took our waiter’s recommendation to order the Curry Surpreme – soy protein with mushrooms, broccoli, carrots, potatoes, and green peas served with a thick Japanese curry sauce that really made this a hearty dish, even for a die-head (see also: hard headed) meat eater like myself.  Don’t be fooled, there’s some subtle kick to the curry, and I broke out into a small sweat halfway through the meal.

So what’s the synopsis here?

Sunflower was actually…really good.  I’ll admit that I had my reservations, but just as there’s 1,001 paleo or primal recipes to sub for your favorite foods, there are just as equally as many offerings here at Sunflower to give you an excellent meal at a reasonable price.  The service is very good, and alcohol is available upon request.  You have you option of two locations, one in Vienna and one in Falls Church, which is to say it’s a shame they don’t have one in the city, as I’d think it’d do very well there.

You won’t even need to smuggle in contraband bacon in your underwear like me.

See Sunflower in Vienna on a map here.

See Sunflower in Falls Church on a map here.

Recommended For:

• First Dates
• Vegetarians
• Pescatarians
• Ovolacto-librarians
• Gentle Barbarians

Not Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• One last meal after a long night at the clubs (You know who I’m talkin’ about, K-town)
• Anthophobics
• Carless Gastronoms
• Showing off your latest meat helmet creation

I’ve passed by Sea Pearl numerous times on the road, as well as having passed up numerous opportunities to eat there after a quick glance at the menu.  Most restaurants in Vienna don’t really capture my attention, and the offerings on the menu look like you standard fare of bistro type establishments.  The restaurant is part of a large complex of restaurants and shops in Merrifield that establish the base of a multi-unit apartment complex that was completed just as the housing bubble had burst.  Plans for renovating the area into a major, pedestrian friendly town center called the Mosaic have been put off year after year, but there still exists a number of businesses holding down the perimeter of the yet to be built town center such as Sea Pearl Restaurant.

Nothing quite prepared me for the wonderment that awaited inside.  The very contemporary setting was a welcome refuge from the cold and snow outside, which also served as a deterrent for what would likely have been a much busier afternoon here.  A great deal of attention had been paid to carefully selecting a color palette that was both vibrant, yet sleek.  Curtains of metallic oyster medallions adorned the walls, and rows of cove lighting transformed the space into something quite otherworldly.

My friends and I quickly opted for some appetizers to silence the howls emanating from our stomachs.  Luckily Sea Pearl drops a generous basket of delicious onion bread on each table, helping tide us over.

Having the restaurant almost entirely to ourselves, we were quickly served our appetizers.  Or maybe that’s just how they roll?

Crispy Cornmeal Crusted Calamari

The Crispy Cornmeal Crusted Calamari is nothing short of perfection.  Not too greasy nor too fried, the only thing that could really improve on this dish would be a swapping out of the sauce it comes with.  The Chipotle Tomato Salsa was a bit lacking, but that doesn’t mean the calamari couldn’t hold its own without it.

Gulf Shrimp and Crabmeat Spring Rolls

Luckily, the Gulf Shrimp and Crabmeat Spring Rolls came with two other sauces for dipping.  I couldn’t tell you which one was the one that was better suited for the calamari, but I suppose that just means you’ll have to order them both together and find out for yourself.  These crispy spring rolls come fried and intent on satisfaction.  Julienned carrots and radish help fill out the shrimp and crabmeat, making these a winner.

At this point, I’m already feeling bad for having neglecting Sea Pearl for so long, and passing judgement from the road.

I’m sorry Sea Pearl, Daddy didn’t mean the nasty things he thought about you.

My friends and I also each decided to go for a different burger, and it’s worth noting that Sea Pearl doesn’t do what you’d see many places do, simply slightly altering the sauce and cheese on a standard burger and slapping it between a brioche bun.  The burgers here are decidedly different.

All Natural Grass-Fed Angus Burger

The most basic burger here, the All Natural Grass-Fed Angus Burger takes no shortcuts on quality of ingredients.  Top rated grass-fed Angus, cooked to order, and served with the perfect amount of fries and your standard accouterments.  It’s very refreshing that the owners decided to take the high road on their basics, and gets two thumbs up from me.

Grilled Lamb Burger

The Grilled Lamb Burger comes on an entirely different platform.  Lamb is ground, seasoned with garam masala and curry, and served on a flatbread with a side of cucumber ratla for a very different take on how a burger should be done.  A great execution and presentation, although the addition of a sheep’s cheese would take this item to the next level.  Still, a very good lamb burger, which I rarely see offered.

Akaushi Beef Burger

The Akaushi (Kobe) Beef Burger was also a winner.  Delicious marbled Kobe beef topped with sharp cheddar, caramelized onions, and served with piping hot garlic herb fries.  Om. Nom. Mothereffin’ Nom.

What can I say?  I was wholly impressed with the entire meal, and can say that this place really offers something else that isn’t easily found in the area.  I feel slightly guilty for not giving Sea Pearl a chance before, but it’s also very easily accessible for me, and that makes me uberexcited to go back.  With separate menus for Brunch, Lunch, Dinner, Happy Hour, and Dessert, I’m sure that’ll happen very, very soon.

See Sea Pearl on a map here.

Recommended For:

• American Bistro Buffs
• Those holding doctorates in Eateauxnomics
• Suburbanites
• Sub-suburbanites

Not Recommended For:

• Weight Watchers
• Carb Counters
• Blandness Boffos
• Carless Foot Soldiers

Blue Moon Diner is much like one of the first girls you kissed in high school – unpretentious, fun, and filled with all sorts of liquor.  By day, it serves as a local trough for the masses, with the four hallmarks of any good diner worth its salt : a kitchen half obscured by two swivel doors, shelves covered in an assortment of liquors, bar seating at a long formica bar that extends the length of the establishment, and several tables of seating, for those who have to have a proper dining experience when they’re eating out.

But who cares about any of that?

What brought me here on a sunny winter afternoon is the promise of the most impressive looking pancakes this side of the of the Mississippi.  I could care less about the shelves upon shelves of Elvis memorabilia, carelessly shelved wherever there was space, or the two elvish waitresses, scuttling about the floor, armed with pots of hot java, dressed in tattoos and makeup.

Which is not to discredit the coffee here.  It’s nothing to write about in your correspondences to you friends in Tokyo, but it’s good enough to keep you warm and asking for refills again and again.

That’s not to discredit the omelets here, either.  Three eggs with a cheese of your choosing (cheddar, feta, swiss, provolone, gouda, $1.00 for aged parmesan, blue, or goat cheese) and any number of other toppings available (tomato, red onion, sweet peppers, spinach, zucchini, button mushrooms, or sour cream at $0.50 each, or bacon, ham, sausage, wild mushrooms, and salsa at $1.00 each), I was very happy with my order, a simple omelet with gouda, served with hashbrowns and toast.  It’s refreshing to go to a diner that offers so many ways to make exactly what you want, that strays from the typical selection of toppings you’d find at most other diners.

But as I had previously mentioned, what I’m here are for the pancakes.  Three buttermilk griddle pancakes, served with powdered sugar.  These pancakes were well above my expectations – fluffy, buttery, Homer pancakes.

Yes.  Homer pancakes.  Or as I’d like to call them, ‘Auuughghghghghghghggh’.

Apparently the cook behind those swivel doors has a rack of stencils, everything from George Costanza to Dr. Dre to, well, the most beloved dysfunctional father on prime time television.  The sheer novelty brought me in to Blue Moon Diner, but the batter they use for these hot griddle pancakes is off the chain good.  So much so that I wouldn’t hesitate to say I’d happily go back there on my next trip to Charlottesville just to have these pancakes again.

Blue Moon has long hours and an even longer menu selection, which can be seen here.  The staff is friendly and the owner can strike up a good conversation with just about anyone.  Quirks are in abundance here, but in a good way…and isn’t that what makes a restaurant great? Stop by, and tell them Norm sent you. They’ll give you a weird look, because they have no fucking clue who I am, but hey, at least you’ll get a good meal out of it.

Blue Moon Diner can be found on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Greasy spoon lovers
• Simpsons fanatics
• Hangovers
• Vegetarians
• Paleo heads
• Zone Dieters

Not Recommended For:

• Vegans
• Copyright Infringement Lawyers
• Weight Watchers
• Germaphobes

The Original Pancake House is a chain of diners with locations all over the country.  These diners are in the same vein as IHOP, but the primary focus at TOPH is without a doubt, pancakes, and lots of them.  The variety extends not only to unique creations such as the Bacon Pancakes or Georgia Pecan Pancakes, but they also serve Wheat Germ Pancakes, Swedish Pancakes, Gluten Free Pancakes, as well as a raft of other choices.

On this particular visit, I decided that I should give one of TOPH’s house specialties a try.  They offer two pancake specials:  the Apple Pancake (optionally served a la mode) and the Dutch Baby, of which I opted for the former.  The Apple Pancake is made with Granny Smith apples and pure Sinkiang cinnamon, while the Dutch Baby is served with whipped butter, lemon, and powdered sugar. Both are placed in the oven and baked to perfection. It’s only one pancake with each order, so, I went for the Apple Pancake a la mode.

Naturally.

With a side of turkey sausage links.

I mean, how much food could a single pancake really be, right?

Sweet merciful crap, if I’ve ever said that you can’t have too much of a good thing, I take it back.  Babies wail at the whisper of the order.  Old ladies faint at the sight of it departing the kitchen.  Virgins…heh.  Well.  Virgins must be sacrificed to the great pancake God Pancaykahthopalu for such a thing to be created.

Really though, this was a thing of beauty.  Not really the fluffy type of pancake you expect, but this thing comes off more as a giant dish of bread pudding topped with cinnamon apples. It was just…a little overwhelming.

The six scoops of ice cream didn’t exactly help, either.

It seemed that with a dish that’s so over the top, everything else would come as sub-par.  But no.  The coffee here is actually reasonable, and the wait staff occasionally saunters by to top you off, making each visit to TOPH a four cup minimum.  The sausage was tasty, but in retrospect, totally unnecessary.  This thing makes a better shared dish if you’re going to go for it, but make sure that you’ve got plenty of time to nap after.  Believe me, you’ll need it. The coffee will only suffice in getting you home without falling asleep at the wheel.

The Original Pancake House can get busy in the morning on the weekends, but late morning/early afternoon brunches are perfect.  The place closes at 3pm, so don’t wait too long to get in and have a good meal with good friends.

Recommended for:

• Pancaykahthopalu Zealots
• Brunchers
• Binge Eaters
• Diner Junkies

Not Recommended for:

• Carbaphobes
• Weak-willed dieters
• Screaming children
• Impatient Gastronoms

The Original Pancake House has numerous locations all over the country.  Find your local one here.

Rose Restaurant isn’t one of those places you pass by and keep an entry on that mental list of restaurants to try out, next to that mental list of birthdates, the mental list of anniversaries, and mental list of things to things of substances to cover yourself in and run naked through the street so that you’d be almost impossible to…

Oh, right. The restaurant.

Like I was saying, the place isn’t the easiest to pick out when you’re driving down Maple Ave (Route 123) . The parking is in the back of the strip mall in the heart of Vienna, and to me, seems to be more of a word of mouth establishment to be in the know of this little neighborhood restaurant. But that being said, it’s well worth a visit. The walls are adorned with beautiful photographs from Iran, with various tidbits of culture history and reference telling you about Iranian culture.

Flatbread with cucumber yogurt dip

The flatbread that comes to your table is warm, soft, fresh, and accompanied by a giant bowl of yogurt cucumber dip. Don’t let that dissuade you from asking for an order of the kashk bademjan, an eggplant dip that doesn’t shy away from packing your mouth full of flavor. Like the time you tried to stuff 50 cheez-puff balls into your mouth to win that two dollar bet and couldn’t taste anything but dehydrodgenated cheese on the inside of your mouth for days after. I mean, who hasn’t had that rite of passage in their formative years?

Kashk Dademjan

The meats here are outstanding. My pants were applauding loudly and vigorously at the succulent kebabs. I ordered the Rose's Special Combo, three giant skewers of lamb, chicken, and kubbideh, or spiced ground beef, which are brought to you after having been taken off the skewers and served with a family sized portion of saffron rice, tomato, and onions.

Rose's Special Combo

I mean really, the meat really is phenomenal. Not a single chunk of dry chicken, flavorless beef, or chewy lamb. This dish might seem a bit expensive, if not better suited for a range more often found within the confines of DC's city limits, but it’s well worth the price, and likely enough to give you a second meal as leftovers.

Service is good and attentive, with very little ambient noise, making conversation easy. I'd highly recommend a stop by if you' in the area, or even after a long day scouring through Vienna's weekend Farmer' Market.

Recommended for:

• Carnivores
• Kebab Aficionados
• Suburbanites
• Designers

Not recommended for:

• People who see peanut butter as adequate public attire
• Robots
• Colonel Mustard

See Rose Restaurant on a map here.

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