Have you ever seen a Matryoshka doll? They’re the wooden nesting dolls, with a doll inside of another doll inside of another doll. Sound familiar yet?

That’s exactly what comes to mind for me when I think of the “restaurant inside a restaurant” theme. In similar ingenuity, a restauranteur can open a smaller, specialized restaurant inside one of their existing spaces without necessitating the need to find an appropriate retail space. Such is the story of Farrah Olivia, the higher end Italian themed mini-restaurant inside of Kora. Both are named after the daughters of Chef Morou, having appearances on both Iron Chef America and The Next Iron Chef under his belt. It would be natural then, to have at least somewhat higher expectations of this restaurant than Kora.

On a weekend night, it’s surprisingly easy to obtain reservations for a table here, but the Crystal City area in Arlington isn’t exactly known for being a hotspot for yuppies and yupsters looking to hang out on a night off. Jen and I ended up being one of two tables dining there during our entire meal, served by a lone waiter who was unavailable often enough for me to believe that he was servicing tables at Kora as well.

Aside from a basket of warm housemade bread and a quartet of spreads, the chef further extends a warm invitation with an amuse bouche of a deep fried dumpling sliced in half and served atop a small pool of sauce, a touch that I greatly appreciated, almost doubly so as I thought about eating Jen’s as well while she was on an excursion to wash her hands in the ladies’ room. No fancy molecular gastronomy or bleeding edge cooking techniques, but just a simple, well prepared start of a meal. The dough is fried crispy to the point of adding texture without being excessively crisp.

The Painted Gazpacho is a beautiful dish (ever so slightly tipped over by our server), a yin and yang combination of chilled eggplant and tomato basil soup.  It sings notes on your palette as beautifully as the presentation of the dish itself.

The Goat Cheese Gnudi here is the exact same served at Kora, and to this day remains one of my favorites. Jen and I both ordered it- Jen as her entree, and for me, as my appetizer. Served with tomatoes, artichokes, onions, and arugula, this is a hearty and enjoyable dish. That is, if it’s prepared correctly. My dish was served with just a bit of dressing, enough to give the dish an adequate amount of moisture, whereas Jen’s dish was devoid of the same sauce altogether and being a much less enjoyable affair to eat.

As an entree, I ordered the Fillet of Beef, served with foie gras butter, fried shiitake mushrooms, date wine, and a spinach gratin cake, served on a painter’s palette as you dabble and mix flavors. A literal encouragement to play with your food. Everything on my order was served perfectly, from the fillet being cooked to a medium rare, to the complementing tastes of the sauces, butters, and condiments on my plate. All this to my relief, as I had previously overheard one of the patrons at the other table sending back her fillet several minutes prior for being way too undercooked.

All of this is to say that while Farrah Olivia aims to be of the highest caliber, it seems miss the mark on several points for being what could be conceivably considered “the fancy Kora”. Lacking consistency in its dishes and what appeared to be a server shared between two restaurants, I’m glad to to know that Chef Morou is able to keep Farrah Olivia afloat on the shoulders of a much more successful Kora- I doubt this restaurant would be able to continue purely on its own.

See Farrah Olivia on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Wandering Wayfarers
• Business Jerks
• Special Occasions
• Gnudist Camp

Not Recommended For:

• Hotspot Hunters
• Starvin’ Marvins
• Paleoheads
• Frugalistas

Jeff Black, who owns restaurants such as Addie’s, Black’s Bar & Kitchen, Black Market, and BlackSalt recently opened Pearl Dive Oyster Palace on 14th Street, a lone oyster shucking house on the DC corridor. Step in past the doors and you instantly get the feeling of having stepped into a weathered Cape Code restaurant that’s served hundreds of thousands of people over the decades, rather than a restaurant that’s just opened a not more than a couple of months ago. Indeed, every detail is put together to compose a tribute to the fresh seafood shacks of New England with reclaimed distressed wood walls to rickety chairs that feel as if they could collapse beneath you if you leaned at just the right angle in one.

The restaurant reads almost entirely of seafood dishes, which is great if you’re looking for food and not a discount warehouse for jewelry robbed from shelled mollusks. That being said, you shouldn’t shy away from the land dishes like the Braised Pork Cheeks. This dish explores the tenderness of the often overlooked pork cheek and complements it with a creamy bed of stone grits, flavored with a vibrant chipotle-ham hock broth.

For those looking to get down with the rawest of raw oysters, you’re in luck. The restaurant offers a wide array of varieties hailing from both the East and West coast, although having heard the server list out the different kinds twice, I simply noted that there were ‘regular priced’ ones and ‘more than regular priced’ ones.

Our table took a dozen of the former, and you know what? They tasted like raw oysters. Deliciously raw, with almost no discernible aftertaste, I would have gladly eaten the entire dozen myself if I weren’t sharing the plate with several others.

photo by Jonathan Bruskin

The cooked oysters are equally as good if not better, especially the Angels on Horseback. A quartet of oysters wrapped in strips of bacon and grilled, then served in a vin blanc and vinegar reduction. Amazing, succulent, and full of flavor. The salty slight crisp of the bacon exterior gives way to a juicy oyster inside, with the vinegar and vin blanc pulling the flavors together for possibly the best oyster dish I’ve ever had, although I might be slightly biased because of the bacon. I would, however, have several other suggestions for a renaming of this dish, including:

• Angels on Piggyback
• A Mermaid and a Pig Walk Into a Bar
• Unicorn Bacchanalias in your Mouth

photo by Jonathan Bruskin

I took it upon myself to be the judge of just how good the restaurant’s Oyster Po’boy was, but I needed a comparison ready at hand. Thankfully, the restaurant also offers a C.E.B.L.T. Po’boy (fried catfish, over easy egg, bacon, lettuce, tomato) and, being your diligent gastrohead, ordered both as my main course.

You might think of it as a little extreme, I just call it ‘a regular dinner’. The oysters used in the Oyster Po’boy (pictured in the foreground) as deep fried to a golden brown and served with housemade pickles, a spicy cayenne aioli, and served on Leidenheimer bread (THE bread to use for a Naw’lins Po’Boy) for something as good an authentic Po’Boy outside of Louisiana. It’s greatest challenge, by far, is that the C.E.B.L.T. is leaps and bounds better, with deep fried pallets of catfish, a creamy pocket yolk and strips of bacon to match.

Advantage, fish.

You’re given the option of having a side salad or fresh cut fries, neither of which were a disappointment.

There are a number of other dishes available, including mussels, seafood gumbo, duck confit, grassfed hangar steak, and more mysteriously, the Que Sueno de los Gatos, or, ‘What Cats Dream Of’, a large dish of Pearl Dive Seafood Stew served with Shrimp, Redfish, Squid, and Mussels in a Saffron Milk broth.

There’s not much to dislike here, if at all. The service is outstanding, the seafood is standard setting, and the large open bar that spills out to the sidewalk makes it the perfect place to meet up and have a quick drink or bite on the warmest of District days. If that’s not enough, there’s a separate Prohibition Era dressed bar upstairs called Black Jack, and rumor is that there’s two bocce ball courts on the premises, too.

Being that Jen’s not exactly keen on meats, anyone want to take a visit with me? First drink is on me.

 See Pearl Dive Oyster Palace on a map here. Recommended For:

• Fans of the Mollusk
• Pescetarians
• Paleoheads
• First Dates
• Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

Not Recommended For:

• Vegetarians
• Mikimoto Mavens
• Frugalistas
• Barnacle Barry

The Foggy Bottom area has for the longest time been a vacuous hole on the map for better places to eat. The area shares a number of tenants, the most notable being George Washington University. With the recent installation of a Whole Foods nearby, the area has been opened up as a new destination, and District Commons hopes to remedy what the area needs.

To start, the build out of this restaurant is amazing. A large, open space with black and white photos of dapper gentlemen adorn the walls. The furniture is, by contrast of the vintage imagery, extremely modern, reasonably comfortable, and the accompanying decor rich with textures and hues. The restaurant sits on Washington Circle near GW Hospital, so make no mistake with the number of varying addresses floating out there on the interwebs. I even commented my appreciation of the slate stone walking paths that cut across the median islands dividing the roads nearby, perfect for pedestrians hopping across like us.

The menu has a wide mix of food that include flatbreads, mussels, and a number of Americana entrees. I quickly eyed out the Pig Board, which comes out true to form, on a pig shaped board, served with prosciutto, creamy Vermont Butter, Acadiana biscuits, and pickled cherries. The pig board takes the emphasis off of just the meat, sharing the spotlight with the accoutrements that come with cured ham. Unfortunately, the biscuits were a bit too hard and dry, indicating that the recipe could probably use a good deal more butter or lard. The pickled cherries were interesting and unique, but didn’t quite go well with the ham, and didn’t quite go well with the biscuits. The real problem with these cherries would manifest itself much later, but I digress. The ham itself was delectable, and the butter was as smooth as one could ask for.

Jen didn’t fare as well with her appetizer, the White Bean Soup with Cheddar Cheese Beignets. She felt that the dish really lacked substance and flavor, while I thought it did have a good garlicky, beanish flavor, just something that was more on the subtle side. Being served in a cup was a nice touch, and I tipped it up to my lips as I polished off her soup for her.

For her entree, Jen ordered the Vegetable Pot Pie, a deconstructed pot pie in a cast iron pan that I’ve seen done before, with a flaky, warm pastry on top rather a crust being baked directly on top. Again, Jen found the dish lacking in flavor and more importantly, in serving size. She’s thankfully a light eater, but had it been me ordering this dish, I think I would have been a bit more upset that I was getting a second appetizer trying to pass as a main course. “Cute” isn’t something I’d want to call sitting on a plate in front of me, but oddly enough it seems fitting for this dish.

For my entree, I hesitated between ordering the Pork Rack Chops and the Roasted Duck “Low & Slow” before taking our server’s suggestion and opting for the latter. I’m glad I did. One half of a roasted duck, piled high over a wild rice and sweet potato hash with a roasted pepper to top it off. The duck here is out of this world tasty with a sweet sorghum chili glaze, although the skin could have used a crisp texture to offset the moist and flavorful meat below. Still, a very, very good recommendation on my server’s part and a saving grace for the restaurant from the appetizer before it.

There are plenty of desserts on hand as well, including this Roasted Marshmallow Sundae, served with chocolate ice cream, roasted homemade marshmallows, whipped cream, and a cherry on top.

Now this is where I have to go and bring up old shit. Having been scarred after eating the vinegarish pickle cherries on the Pig Plate, I had it in my mind that this was yet another pickled cherry on top of my sundae. I knew it wouldn’t be a pickled cherry, I told myself it wasn’t a pickled cherry, but my mind kept screaming back at me.

“IT’S A PICKLED CHERRY ON YOUR ICE CREAM! ENJOY YOUR VINEGAR INFUSED SUNDAE, JERKFACE! OH MAN YOU’RE GONNA GET PICKLED!”

I actually ate half the sundae scooping around the cherry before finally just eating the damn thing. No pickled cherries, but they do look exactly the same. Pickled cherry. Sweet cherry. One looks like a cherry. The other looks like a cherry.

I hate my overactive imagination.

But boy do I love food. I mean, I really, really, riiiiiilly love food.

I think District Commons will do great just where it is, breathing new life into what could be a hotspot for GW students, and a great place for the students to take their parents for dinner on campus visits. There still needs to be some work done on the menu from my point of view, and for being placed near such a liberal school, it’s surprising that there’s not a wider selection of vegetarian options, or a stronger set of vegetarian options, at that. One soup, one flatbread, one small pot pie dish. Completely fine with me, but not the most accommodating menu for the non-meat eaters like my woman. Sad. The bar scene should be huge for grad students to meet up and unwind after evening classes, as it lends a lot to the area as far as being a viable drinking platform to make poor decisions and calling in sick the following day.

The service is average, with our server completely forgoing bread service to our table, as we noticed towards the end of the meal with the tables around us starting to get their gluten loaves served with their meal. Not a big deal for me, but again, for Jen, it really cut down on the available food for her to eat.

Would I go back? Probably, but with reservations about the consistency of the menu, and only if it were suggested as a spot to eat with companions rather than something of my own choosing. I still think that this place has promise and could really anchor the area as a place to visit.

Bonus Tip: At 10pm, the bell rings for Family Meal, where the service meal is opened up to the public. Each night offers something different, but they all look like delicious meals your imaginary television show mother used to make. Only better.

See District Commons on a map here.

Recommended For:

• GW Parents
• Zone Dieters
• First Dates
• Late Night Drinks

Not Recommended For:

• Frugalistas
• Vegetarians
• Messy Public Breakups
• Ladies who fall at the top right of the Vicky Mendoza diagonal

On a recent roadtrip up north, Jen and I stopped in Burlington, VT, situated next to Lake Champlain, the very same of Lake Champlain chocolate origin, but not the very same of Burlington Coat Factory origin. No, this Burlington happens to have a decidedly different set of industries that have nothing to do with coats, jackets, and frocks, but rather, snowboards*, chocolates**, and the patchouliest of crunchy, mother Earth-lovin’ hippies.

That’s not such a bad thing, as it turns out that being eco conscious can make for a decent business model, like it has for Magnolia Bistro. The restaurant engages in a plethora of green practices, including composting or recycling almost all of the waste created, using strictly non-GMO soy and grains in all the dishes, sourcing local farms for fresh ingredients, and using recycled materials throughout the restaurant.

Inside, exposed brick walls and floors alongside wood floors and tables lend a certain warmth to the interior, with plenty of local artwork adorning every free space throughout the restaurant.

The menu aims to satisfy the diets of almost all types of visitors: vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, local, and even some love for my fellow paleoheads.

There are a number of interesting dishes to have you salivating before it even hits your table, like the Banana Bread French Toast, which can be ordered as a full plate, or as a side dish, as pictured above. The french toast is made from organic grains and fair trade organic bananas which are baked in house, dipped in soy milk, rice milk, cinnamon, and vanilla, fried to a slight crisp and finally topped with a dash of powdered sugar.

There’s also the Crispy Steel Cut Oatmeal cakes, served here with vanilla cream sauce for dipping. The top and bottom are slightly crispy, as the name would suggest, with a soft, nutty interior, giving this dish a nice textural change from the traditional bowl of porridge like oatmeal, and a fantastic dish to share. Although if you’re eating with me, you might want to make it a double.

Omelets made here still use the highest quality of ingredients with locally sourced eggs and bacon, but I found the order to be a bit lacking in substance and presentation. In fact, I even put in for a double order of bacon on the side just to get in a bit more from our brunch. In retrospect, knowing full well that I’d stray from my paleo ways for this meal, I’d probably opt for a sammich or three as my main course. It’s hard to turn away from choices such as the Open-FaceSteak Sammich (local marinated steak topped with mushrooms, onions, and cheddar cheese) or the Smokey Mountain BBQ Pork (local slow cooked pork made in a house barbecue sauce).

The service here is good, and there are always a number of dishes written up on the chalkboard near the bar that list the daily specials, in the off chance that nothing sparks your interest on the 100% recycled paper menu. Prices seemed to be pretty reasonable to me, but I could see how some might think of it as being a bit on the high end for a college town. Just keep in mind that high quality ingredients don’t come by cheap, and high quality sourced goods is what this restaurant is all about.

All in all, Magnolia Bistro is an excellent place to stop in for an early meal before exploring Burlington, and a great addition to this small college town. It is better suited for the vegans and vegetarians, as evidenced by the other offerings on the menu, but it doesn’t discriminate to meat eaters, which is just fine by me.

And yes, they have pancakes, too.

See Magnolia Bistro on a map here. (Note: It’s tucked away in a multi use commercial building on the basement floor, so it’s a little hard to find. You’ll have to enter through the building doors first and go downstairs!)

Recommended For:

• Vegans
• Vegetarians
• Localvores
• Patchouli Princesses
• Canadian Campers

Not Recommended For:

• Rhinestone Cowboys
• Kenny Powers Powerlunches

* Burlington is the home of Burton Snowboards HQ.

** Burlington is also the home of Lake Champlain Chocolates HQ.

You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you can not fool anybody with that turkey bacon shit you’re serving us, bro. -Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln the Restaurant celebrates the life and times of Abraham Lincoln the U.S. President, through food, drink, and kitschy decor. The first you’ll notice walking through the doors of the restaurant is, that, well, you’re now inside a restaurant. Obviously. But take a closer look around, and the more minute details come out, such as the copper coated bar, resembling only what would best be described as simultaneously ‘the color of Abe Lincoln’s bowling ball and his ’84 Coupe DeVille’. The floor is completely tiled from end-to-end with copper pennies, and an oversized white leather bench sofa with penny pushpin details  serves as not only one of the largest seats in the restaurant, but a gentle remind of Abe’s giant marble chair at the Lincoln Memorial. It is with this great attention to detail that one can’t help but wonder why there aren’t more presidential themed/named restaurants in the area. Cross dressing servers at Hoover’s? Why not?

The food is served in the small plate style that has run amok among restaurants, allowing you to get a wide sampling of tastes without really ever really digging in an enjoying a full course of a meal. The upside is that if you do order something that doesn’t appeal to you, then the odds are that you can order something else that does. The downside is that you can and will likely order something that doesn’t appeal to you, and you’ll still have to pay for it.

Still, I guess I prefer hedging my bets and going all in on a nice sized plate of food, but sometimes you have to just go with it.

The tater tots with dill sour cream and American salmon roe are delicious and a slight feat to pop entirely in your mouth, with just enough details to make it fancy, but not stray too far from its simple roots.

The Pennsylvania Duck Sausage Roll is also a must have, a high brow version of Pigs in a Blanket, served with a bucket of mustard for dipping, and topped with microgreens for just a bit of color. The natural fat of the duck keeps the sausage succulent and flavorful, perfectly contrasted with the warm, crisp flakiness of the dough encasing it.

Other notable dishes included the Farmhouse Macaroni’n'Cheese, a single serving cast iron skilled filled with macaroni, then generously coated in a hot mess of smoked gouda, parmesan, and bubbling hot sharp cheddar cheese, a must have for any cheese eating surrender monkey out for a meal.

One of my favorites of the meal was a deconstructed version of the Chicken Pot Pie- a cast iron pan filled with chicken, spring peas, carrots, and celery, finished with a fresh soft and flaky pastry stove pipe top hat. Lincoln would have been proud.

The Lobster Beignets are another win for the restaurant, gently fried chunks of lobster served in a creamy aioli sauce with heirloom tomatoes and english peas. I did feel that the portion was a bit on the smallish side for this dish, but that simply forced me to savor each bite that much more.

And if you didn’t feel like you had enough duck from the Duck Rolls, you can always order the Coffee Rubbed Duck Breast, served with plum, walnuts, and a farro salad. Tender, juicy, and full of awesome for your belly.

That’s not say everything is mindblowingly great here. The Citrus Marinated Beet Salad with pickled gooseberries and horseradish creme fraiche failed to impress me, nor did the Watermelon Salad with endives, feta cheese and olives

The same could be said about the Poached Arctic Char (pictured top left), even with the help of several strips of prosciutto wedged in between the broccoli florets and golden raisins. The Braised Pork Belly (pictured top right), normally a sure fire win for me, lacked the crisp texture and ended up being really living up to what I know pork belly can be.

The Heirloom Tomato Risotto (pictured bottom left) with goat cheese also seemed a little deflated, but there’s only so much you can do with risotto, I suppose.  Finally, the Maryland Lump Crab Salad (pictured bottom right) was a reasonable dish, served as a roll, but didn’t impress enough to recommended it to anyone as more than a filler.

Lastly, the desserts here aren’t amazing, but if you’re still hungry, they’ll get the job done. I recommend the Peach Crisp a la Mode over the Funnel Cake with Berries, of which the latter looks more like something you’d end up cleaning out of your hamster’s cage after a few days of neglect.

Overall, I enjoyed eating here and paying tribute to the great 16th President of the U.S. There’s enough of a variety here to find something you like, and the cuisine strikes a nice balance between your favorite down-home comfort foods and a fancy place you could take your parents to while they’re in town. The noise levels tend to get a bit high when it’s busy, but you can always opt to sit outside for people watching when the weather’s nice. Service is reasonable and pleasant, but nothing remarkable, which is sometimes all you could ask for in a good meal.

See Lincoln on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Groups and Troupes
• Birthday Dinners
• Comfort Food Cornucopias
• First Dates

Not Recommended For:

• Tour Buses
• Vegetarians
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters

If a restaurant opened up with a focus on healthy leaning junk foods, would you be willing to support them? Superfood enhanced pizzas, nachos, burgers, and more, all designed between a chef and a nutritionist.

Welcome to FunXion. The concept is a restaurant that caters to the health bent types such as myself, despite all the deliciously trashy things I eat on the weekend for your pleasure, as well as mine. The food here is prepared without oils, salts, or added sugars, a unique take, and requiring considerable  creativity in the kitchen to make things that will still pass as delectable to the majority of diners.

Despite these hurdles, FunXion is able to still come out on top. The chips and guacamole are different from your standard corn chips, but not so significantly that you’d stop more than a momentary pause to recognize the difference, and get back to your regularly scheduled noms. The buffalo nachos, with ground buffalo meat, chili, cheese, and vegetables, doesn’t seem to fare as well, with the chips going soggy far before you’ve gotten through the entire plate.

The sliders are fantastic for being a healthy version of a Krystal/White Castle burger. Definitely try the sirloin sliders, and if you’re feeling like a bit adventurous, try mixing up the meats for a double patty slider, such as the buffalo sirloin or the portabello and sirloin. The point is, get the damn sirloin already.

The pizzas aren’t going to make a run for the best pizzas in town, but if you’re craving a pie without the complete wreaking of havoc of your body, I can’t think of a better place to go out and get one in the area. The music was thumping a bit too loud for me to be positive that I heard it right, but I’m pretty certain that the dough is made with antioxidant rich acai berry, something I’d never consider throwing into the second hottest Italian export known to humankind (the first being, of course, the late Bea Arthur. RAAAAAWR.)

Speaking of the ol’ oontz-oontz-oontz, FunXion turns into a lively place for drinks and dance club beats just around 10pm, so make sure to get your food in early, unless you plan to stick around a mingle after. The service is extremely accommodating and friendly, as our server/night manager not only took down our order without writing a thing, but made sure we had everything we needed during our meal, but also simultaneously handled the transition of the restaurant into night-time lounge.

There’s plenty of wine, beer, liquor, AND health food drinks available, so don’t be afraid to try a couple to help wash down that food. And the photos? Sorry. The decidedly pink and red lights completely ruined my shots, so you’ll have to go and check it out for yourself.

On a final note, the prices here are more than reasonable. Jen and I stuffed as much as we could into ourselves and still didn’t spend as much as you’d expect to pay at any number of other places in the city. A huge plus. I’d definitely like to go back and support this business as much as I can.

See FunXion on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Zone Dieters
• Vegetarians
• First Dates
• Frugalistas
• Lean Cuisine Eating Machines

Not Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• Pastafarians
• Finicky Feeders
• Chinese Tour Bus Drop Off Destinations

Pizzas are a hotly contested subject, once you’ve grown past the world of big chain pies like Pizza Hut, Domino’s, or Little Caesar’s (Little Caesar’s will ALWAYS hold a special place in my belly). What makes a perfect pizza? Hell, what makes a good pizza? There are endless variations of crust, toppings, and style, but I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a pretty big pizza floozy, as long it’s good, hot, and it tells me what a bad, bad non-paleo boy I’m being. I’ve been long wanting to get down to Capitol Hill to try out Spike Mendelsohn’s (of Top Chef fame) We, The Pizza ever since it opened last summer. So when Jen suggested we go check it out, I had no other choice but to oblige.

These days, Capitol Hill is a pretty gentrified place to hang out. You won’t find dealers selling crack on every corner like in the days of Marion Barry, but instead, brown flip flops flap-flap-flap down the sidewalks, and local residents have a wide array of family friendly establishments to choose from in the neighborhood.

Once you step inside, you’re immediately greeted by an open display case of all the by-the-slice pizzas available. The variety ranges from classics like the Fresh Buffalo Mozzarella and Roasted Tomato, a Spinach & Artichoke (with bechamel, sauteed spinach, roasted artichokes, aged provolone and parm), Coletti’s Notorious BBQ (slow roasted pulled pork, BBQ sauce, cheddar cheese and crispy onions) or a Buffalo Chicken (jumbo chunks of spicy chicken, creamy blue cheese, mozzarella, and hot sauce). These aren’t weak, floppy pizza crusts, and if you’re a gorger like me, you might be slightly disappointed that you can’t easily fold a slice in half and start shoving it into your face. Instead, patrons are forced to dutifully enjoy each flavorful, well balanced, and hearty bite, one at a time.

And maybe that sort of eating isn’t such a bad thing.

I order a slice each of the Buffalo Chicken and Coletti’s Notorious BBQ, both excellent choices that I highly recommend. Jen picked the traditional Buffalo Mozzarella, topped with generous chunks of fresh mozzarella and basil leaves big enough to keep you dry from a storm.

Make sure you try at least one of sodas made to order here. While there’s definite your traditional soda machine on tap in the back, the hand made sodas are mind blowingly good. I ordered the Ubet Manhattan Egg Cream soda, starting with chocolate syrup, a large serving of heavy egg cream, soda water, and POW! Instant chocolatey tastiness.

If you’re not entirely sold on having a pizza here, the restaurant also offers a reasonable selection of subs and 7, 14, 20 piece buckets of buffalo wings. Big buffalo wings. What exactly do you call jumbo buffalo wings? There’s no skimping on meat here, and the back bar has you covered with pretty much any kind of sauce you’d want to dip in, including BBQ, hot sauce, ranch, blue cheese, and more.

While the pizzas here aren’t exactly going to win over the Neapolitan crowd, they’re still pretty damn good in my eyes. Thick Sicilian pizzas cooked in a cast-iron pan are also available here, but I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy a slice of anything that suits your hunger. There’s plenty of seating outside for cool summer nights, and ample seating upstairs for everything else. Parking is pretty easy to find, and this is some of the best food you’ll come into near to Capitol after a long day tour.

See We, the Pizza on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Vegetarians
• People Watching
• First Dates
• Frugalistas

Not Recommended For:

• Neapolitan Naysayers
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Organic Olivias

The Northeast H street corridor is gaining speed and becoming the new Adam’s Morgan. The small three block strip of restaurants and bars draws in throngs of visitors looking to spend a little money and have a lot of fun. Granville Moore’s stands as one of the first bars in that area, a self proclaimed gastropub with a ‘healthy Belgian fetish’.

Quick Tip: If you’re confused by the phrase ‘ Belgian fetish’ like I was, don’t bother putting it into Google. Ever.

What the establishment comes down to is a no-frills drinking establishment with some pretty good seafood on the side. While the interior is a bit on the gritty side, it’s full of character, as evidenced by a giant reclaimed wood bar upstairs, converted church pews for bench seating, and wide plank wood floors to match.

Jen ordered the Pappardelle sans shrimp, which still comes with slices of fresh pencil asparagus and loaded with parmesan cheese. Unfortunately, the appetizer comes in appetizer portion, so it’s not quite enough to hold its own as a meal. On the bright side, it’s a very tasty dish that’ll get you read for an entree.

The veggie burger is a thick slab of meatlessness that looks hearty enough, but turns out to be little more than a well seasoned patty of breading with a half plate full of frites. It’s a little lacking in substance, but it’s a decent enough order if you’re a hardcore beer drinking vegetarian who needs something to have with your Belgian ales.

I highly recommend the Fish Sammich. A deep fried Belgian ale battered white fish with remoulade served on a potato bun with cole slaw, I likely could have ordered and completely devoured two of these with ease. Having grown up with numerous trips to Mickey D’s for Filet-o-fish sammiches with my Dad as a kid, this dish sparked memories of those lunches with him in my youth. It also comes with a heaping side of frites covered in sea salt and herbs.

I know absolutely nothing about beers, but I do know I’ve never seen Jen drink one. So to watch her take down two cherry lambics during the course of a meal was pretty impressive. It’s the closest you can get to drinking a cherry lifesaver flavored beer. The beers here are undoubtedly the stars, but the seafood doesn’t slack, either.

While there are a couple of vegetarian dishes on the menu that are godsends for vegetarian patrons, you should expect that you’re going to have to stuff yourself with the various sauces you can dip your frites into. At 50 cents for each, go crazy and try a few of them, especially the Garlic Ranch.

On a final note, make sure you’ve got a way to get a sober ride home from here. With no streetcars planned for service until the end of 2012, not a single Metro station in sight, and plenty of police patrolling the corridor, this is definitely a place you don’t want to be caught swerving at the wheel.

UPDATE: Oh, if you plan on visiting on the weekend, make sure you get in early. Retirement age dinner early, somewhere around 6:30, if you plan to get a table. Or you’ll be facing a two hour waiting list with no call aheads or reservations allowed.

See Granville Moore’s on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Bier Barons and Baronesses
• Belgians with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery
• Bromancing the Stone

Not Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• First Dates

Station 4 adds to the small but growing number of establishments at the Southwest Waterfront area of DC, which is to say, maybe the second place that’s open down there, not counting the Arena Stage theatre next door, or the brand-spankin’-new Safeway across the street.

The buildout was clearly ambitious; a gold and black theme runs throughout the 200+ seat restaurant, with a gold painted bar, gold leather chairs, black leather benches, and crystal chandeliers abound. Posh seems to be best adjective to describe what the owners clearly envisioned when they hired a decorator, and I get that from my first step inside. But being far and away from the open wallets of downtown and situated in a much more residential neighborhood, one can’t help but feel that Station 4 is simply trying too hard to be something that it’s not.

The food here is, however, much better than what you’d expect of a neighborhood restaurant. Breadsticks are baked pita bread, sliced, left to go perfectly stale for a bit of crunch and slathered with a reasonable dose of olive tapenade for good measure. One of the more unique types of bread baskets that I’ve seen. We also got a glass of house made corn nuts, although our waitress denied that they were CornNuts, because that’d be ‘a bit too trailer park’.

Hey, I call it like I see it.

There are a wide assortment of cow, sheep, and goat cheeses available, served with macarona almonds and a sweet tomato jam. All in all good cheeses, although the blue cheeses were a bit more off-worldly looking than normal. Vibrant orange rinds and deep blue veins had a negatively visceral effect on me, so I contently took out the cow and sheep cheeses instead.

The Spicy Tuna cubes are sashimi grade tuna, topped off with a yuzu-jalapeno foam, and served in a reflecting pool of lemongrass infused soy sauce, with bamboo skewers keeping them from floating off into the wind. A fantastic dish, but by and far I think the foams would really go under the radar for the majority of the people that eat here, especially the subtle jalapeno flavor that sits on top of each morsel.

The Stuffed Zucchini, filled with goat cheese, toasted almonds, and romanesco sauce, are a nice entry to a meal for any vegetarian with fantastic complementing tastes and textures, but lack the presentation one would expect from the kitchen of a chef trained at el Bulli, which was not too long ago considered the world’s best restaurant…but in the league of competing restaurants, second place isn’t too bad.

Pizzas are in the plenty here at Station 4, and not a single one looks like a bad choice on the menu. We decide to try three of them for a fair sampling to share. The Roasted Vegetable comes packed with eggplants, zucchini, onion, goat cheese, and fresh arugula on top, hearty and laden with enough greens to make any vegetarian happy. On the other side of the spectrum is the Station 4 – a pie topped with pork belly, salsa, caramelized onions, and blue cheese, another example of why pork really is the perfect meat. IT GOES ON EVERYTHING. PERFECTLY.

For the more classically minded diner, the restaurant does offer the traditional Margherita pizza, with fresh buffalo mozzarella, confit cherry tomatoes, and basil.

If pizzas aren’t your thing, there’s also an entire section of entrees such as the Flying Duck, a serving of duck breast with passion fruit-lavender gastrique with caramelized fennel and a foie gras foam, that look plenty tantalizing to read over, and definitely worth a try.

It was nice to get out to one of the other neighborhoods of DC, and the Waterfront area is quickly coming up into its own as a pretty nice little neighborhood to be in. The restaurant is a fantastic addition to the cluster of businesses that meet together at the top of the exit/entrance of the metro, but still feels like it’s trying a bit too hard to be something it’s not. The food is good, very good, mind you, but maybe not quite something I’d call amazingly great.  If you’re in the area to see a show or visit some friends, I recommend stopping by for a bite, but it’s not quite a destination by itself.

See Station 4 on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Neighborhood Noms
• Vegetarians
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters

Not Recommended For:

• El Bulli Expectations
• Downtown Dahlias
• Hotspot Hunters
• First Introduction of the Parents to your Boyfriend, Who Finds Seasonal Employment as a Stripmall Santa

Burgers, burgers, burgers. Who knew (besides Anthony Bourdain) that a really well-crafted burger would be one of the most sought after foods in the early 21st century? With the resurgence of popularity of everything Americana as of late, it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise for anyone at all. With an abundance of variety and style in the District, there’s no true king- it all comes down to preference.

Enter Shake Shack. With an already saturated market of burger joints, the introduction of this New York chain was met with great fanfare…and weekday lines that wrap around the block. Championing the roadside burger model, Shake Shack prefers to serve thinner patties, albeit of the highest quality of beef- 4 ounces of pastured, vegetarian fed Sirloin beef, topped with American cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and Shacksauce on a potato bun, served in a mess-free waxed paper bag. I opted for the double Shackburger, an 8 ounce portion of meat, which seemed to suit my eating habits a bit better.

I also ordered a side of the Shack-cago Dog- a split and grilled Vienna all-beef hot dog, topped with onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, pickles, peppers, yellow mustard and celery salt, served on a potato bun, and a Peanut Butter Shake to match. Never one for being a glutton, I had to pass on cheese fries, but maybe the next time around.

What’s good? The burgers, through and through. While I only got to sample the Shackburger, there are smaller and larger options available on the menu to suit your taste, and the combination of very high quality beef with a potato bun is near perfection in terms of fast food deliciousness…the burgers do meet the hype.

The restaurant also offers a vegetarian friendly ‘Shroom burger for those who still want the deliciousness, but without all the cow. Don’t think this one comes up short, with a crisp-fried portobello mushroom cap filled with munster and cheddar cheese, topped with the same tomatoes, lettuce, and served in the ever crucial potato bun.

The Shack-cago dog, on the other hand, was sorely lacking in presence. Overwhelmed by the massive amount of toppings with a paltry dog hiding underneath, you can give this one a miss.

The shakes here are beyond a doubt tasty, served in a waxed paper cup that was two gusts of a wind from collapsing from the sheer mass of the contents inside. I can only imagine what a Concrete, the Shake Shack’s thicker version of their milkshake, would do to a cup. You can choose a malt option as well, mixing it up with a variety of flavors to choose from, including vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, strawberry, or black & white. Concretes take it up a notch, with local creations such as the Presidental Sweet (three scoops of vanilla custard, peanut butter sauce, marshmallow, and caramel milk chocolate), the Washington Monu-mint (three scoops of chocolate custard, minted marshmallow, and chocolate cookie dough), the Majority Whip (three scoops of vanilla custard, crepe crispies, fruit, and whipped cream), or make up your own.

If milkshakes, malts, and concretes aren’t your thing, a number of beers, wines, fresh brewed ice tea and root beer are on tap.

Lastly, don’t be scurred to come by with your dog- the Pooch-ini, a chilly Shackburger dog biscuit with peanut butter sauce and vanilla custard, is available for four legged friend. But what the hell you’re doing walking your dog through Dupont Circle in the first place is completely beyond me.

Quality comes at a premium, so expect to pay a bit more than your traditional fast food joints, but the experience is completely worth it. My inner fat kid says, order two double Shackburgers and a concrete, and you’ll go home happy.

See Shake Shack on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Vegetarians
• Burger Buffs
• Casual First Dates
• Late Night Noms
• Funky Cold Custar-ina

Not Recommended For:

• Meaty Interventions
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Frugalistas
• Half Smoke Champions