FunXion Restaurant and Bar
If a restaurant opened up with a focus on healthy leaning junk foods, would you be willing to support them? Superfood enhanced pizzas, nachos, burgers, and more, all designed between a chef and a nutritionist.
Welcome to FunXion. The concept is a restaurant that caters to the health bent types such as myself, despite all the deliciously trashy things I eat on the weekend for your pleasure, as well as mine. The food here is prepared without oils, salts, or added sugars, a unique take, and requiring considerable creativity in the kitchen to make things that will still pass as delectable to the majority of diners.
Despite these hurdles, FunXion is able to still come out on top. The chips and guacamole are different from your standard corn chips, but not so significantly that you’d stop more than a momentary pause to recognize the difference, and get back to your regularly scheduled noms. The buffalo nachos, with ground buffalo meat, chili, cheese, and vegetables, doesn’t seem to fare as well, with the chips going soggy far before you’ve gotten through the entire plate.
The sliders are fantastic for being a healthy version of a Krystal/White Castle burger. Definitely try the sirloin sliders, and if you’re feeling like a bit adventurous, try mixing up the meats for a double patty slider, such as the buffalo sirloin or the portabello and sirloin. The point is, get the damn sirloin already.
The pizzas aren’t going to make a run for the best pizzas in town, but if you’re craving a pie without the complete wreaking of havoc of your body, I can’t think of a better place to go out and get one in the area. The music was thumping a bit too loud for me to be positive that I heard it right, but I’m pretty certain that the dough is made with antioxidant rich acai berry, something I’d never consider throwing into the second hottest Italian export known to humankind (the first being, of course, the late Bea Arthur. RAAAAAWR.)
Speaking of the ol’ oontz-oontz-oontz, FunXion turns into a lively place for drinks and dance club beats just around 10pm, so make sure to get your food in early, unless you plan to stick around a mingle after. The service is extremely accommodating and friendly, as our server/night manager not only took down our order without writing a thing, but made sure we had everything we needed during our meal, but also simultaneously handled the transition of the restaurant into night-time lounge.
There’s plenty of wine, beer, liquor, AND health food drinks available, so don’t be afraid to try a couple to help wash down that food. And the photos? Sorry. The decidedly pink and red lights completely ruined my shots, so you’ll have to go and check it out for yourself.
On a final note, the prices here are more than reasonable. Jen and I stuffed as much as we could into ourselves and still didn’t spend as much as you’d expect to pay at any number of other places in the city. A huge plus. I’d definitely like to go back and support this business as much as I can.
See FunXion on a map here.
Recommended For:
- Zone Dieters
- Vegetarians
- First Dates
- Frugalistas
- Lean Cuisine Eating Machines
Not Recommended For:
- Paleoheads
- Pastafarians
- Finicky Feeders
- Chinese Tour Bus Drop Off Destinations





































