PS7′s Restaurant (the name comes from a combination of the owner/head chef Peter Smith and the address at 777 I St NW) has made a name for itself as being one of the haute coutre restaurants and bar scenes in DC in the recent years. The very name of the restaurant has evoked a very fanciful experience to me, having heard about it for many years (the doors opened in 2006 after Peter Smith left Vidalia).

The truth is, Restaurant Week really gives an opportunity for local residents to check out places to dine that wouldn’t normally occur to them on any given day.  So after making our reservations on Open Table for 9:00pm, Jen and I headed over to the restaurant for a nice dinner after a long day for both of us.

We arrived just a few scant minutes after 9, and were politely informed that our table would be ready in about 20 minutes.

Really?  20 minutes after a reservation time?  Already, PS7 was not making a favorable impression with either Jen or me.  We generally arrive already on the border of famished, and this was the first time we’ve been asked to wait for such a long period of time.  Isn’t that what reservations are for?

So, having no other option than to agree to wait, we found a small table at the bar section and entertained ourselves through amateur anthropological studies of DC socialite scene, a veritable bacchanalia in full swing.  A giraffe was discussing the finer points of wearing seersucker in the summer with a rhino. A fawn gently played a pan flute for a maiden with long, golden tresses and emerald eyes. A republican eagerly hammered out the details of a universal healthcare plan with a democrat. Then again, I might have been hallucinating from the hunger pangs I was experiencing.

25 minutes later, we were picked up by the hostess (literally, the 100 lb. girl grabbed the two of us, powercleaned us simultaneously, and carried us)  and we were off to our table.  The reservations were late enough that we were catching the last few lingering patrons on the restaurant side, but it was still considerably packed given the time.  We quickly put in our orders, and were off to our evening’s gastronomical adventure.

First up, the bread basket:

Er, bread duo.

While the breads were pretty chimerical in themselves, one being a bacon laden biscuit, we were disappointed in the fact that there was more butte delivered to us than actual bread.  The photo here might not exactly do it justice, but each roll wasn’t more than two inches across.  I probably should be grateful for food gratis, but this simply wasn’t a good sign.

For appetizer’s, Jen ordered Sarah’s Salad and I ordered the Tuna Sliders; the former, a mixture of mixed field greens, candied hazelnuts, dried cranberries, and mascarpone lemon dressing; the latter, a trio of spicy tuna tartare in sesame seed buns with white miso aioli, and cucumber-cilantro slaw.

I’ll admit that the tuna sliders were about the size I was expecting, somewhere between a bite and two bites for each, but Jen’s salad wouldn’t be considered sufficient for an anorexic jackrabbit with a bad meth habit.  A Victoria’s Secret model would have sent it back demanding more being put onto the plate.  As we sat there, contemplating eating the rest of the butter (until the waiter came to clear the plates and the butter, damnit) the restaurant began to clear out considerably, with the patrons likely heading to other destinations for the evening.

So we sat there, and contemplated some more.

And some more.

And we waited some more.

Normally, I could understand an overwhelmed kitchen, but really, the din of the establishment had died down to intimate conversations at several tables, including ours.  I didn’t put a stopwatch on, but I did consider running over to McDonald’s down the street and getting a Big Mac in the interim.

With a small fry on the side.

Because I’m trying to watch what I eat. Y’know.

After what seemed like a semi-enternity, our entrees arrived.  I had been deterred from my original order of the Pan-Roasted Rockfish after being notified that they were out, so I was pleased with the a comparable substitute, the Pan Seared Trout, served with root vegetable “ribbons” and thoughtfully decorated with a bacon Coca-Cola gastrique.  Upon inquiring what exact a “gastrique” was, the waiter described the technique of harnessing ancient medieval alchemical techniques to fuse the powers of white wine with the sugar acidity of Coca-Cola.

So…you’re telling me you tossed some white wine in with a can of Coke in a pan and boiled it down over an open fire? Neat.

I’ll say that the portion of fish was much larger than I was expecting, but maybe that’s because I had already been set with the precedent of micro portions from everything that had been delivered to us thus far.  The fish was perfectly prepared- tender, flavorful, and just the right amount of sauce.  The ribbons were well executed as a presentation, although, this dish for all intents and purposes, was completely devoid of a side to complement the fish.

Jen’s Risotto with Mushroom (which does not appear on the normal menu) seemed to fall a bit short of expectations.  The dish would have honestly been a better side dish, perhaps to my Pan Seared Trout.  But as an entree?  It was glorious.

Another disappointment for Jen, and she finished this uninspired dish in but a few minutes.  If I haven’t explained this before, Jen’s a very light eater.  It really is no exaggeration that it takes no amount of food to make satiate her appetite, and all the food up until now had done nothing for her.

But wait!  There’s still dessert!

However, the desserts aren’t listed on their website online, so I am given no other option but to make something up in its place.

If I remember correctly, Jen ordered what amounted to a gourmet Snicker’s bar.  The soft chocolate exterior housed a cream chocolate mousse inside, topped with a light cream and sprinkled with crunchy candied bits.  Again, a great execution, with fantastic presentation, but staying the course, this dish simply did not satisfy in the manner that even a grocery store candy bar would.  The light textures and ingredients gave no gratification whatsoever.

I had a deeeelightful creampuff with a vibrant and cherry reduction that was pleasing to the palette, but somehow remaining unremarkable otherwise.  To be quite frank, had I not taken a photo, and given the lack of dessert descriptions on their website, I would not be able to recall exactly what I had for dessert.

Suffice to say, Jen also finished the dessert with ease, and for her to go through four courses without feeling overly full, well, that’s a rare occurrence, and not necessarily a celebrated one.

Me?

I followed up this meal at Jen’s with a protein bar, a bowl of cereal in almond milk, a bit of beef jerky, a few handfuls of macadamia nuts, and half a pint of ice cream.  Ps7, for all it’s hype, fails to rise to the occasion.  The dishes, while well prepared, take a good amount of time to perfectly prepared, and the portion sizes, for the majority, lean towards the diminutive. For $90 (without drinks), you’d expect more out of dinner for two.

I do hear that PS7′s bar scene is much better though.  Not being a drinker myself, I can’t vouch for it, but at least you could go somewhere else for a good meal afterwards.

See PS7′s on a map here.

Recommended for:

• Hyper-light eaters
• Time Killers
• Scenesters

Not Recommended for:

• Everybody else

SEI is a one of DC’s haute coutre sushi fusion restaurants.  The first thing you’ll notice about the restaurant is the immaculate appearance of the interior.  Ecru walls, slippery white tables, menus and chairs that look like they were stitched out of albino alligators, and bench seating that looks like the owners were able to take down the largest albino ostrich in the world and make it into one comfy piece of seating.

In other words, white.  White, white, white.  Lots of white.  However, there’s plenty of decor to give the monochromatic theme some color.  Deep red branches serve as a see through wall that separate the sushi bar from the alcohol bar, with seating dispersed throughout.  Several infinity mirrors with etched scenes adorn the walls, which had Jen and I trying (unsuccessfully) to figure out how the hell they got that to work.  And somehow, all of this works as a cohesive theme, transporting you to another world entirely.

The creativity of the chefs equally match the decor.  I started up with the Fish & Chips sushi roll, made with raw flounder, french fries, malt vinegar, and wasabi tartar.  Definitely a winner, albeit pricey.

Jen and I shared a plate of the Wasabi Guacamole with Wonton Chips. Enormous chips.  The guac was pretty good, too, but not nearly spicy enough for me.  I ended up taking large dabs of wasabi and topping my guac with me, which did the trick.  Another great appetizer, but in the end there were a lot more chips than there was of the good green stuff to put on it.

Jen had a small dish of the Roasted Curry Vegetables, which were decent, but didn’t really win me over.  She liked them well enough though, and that’s good enough for me to give a recommendation to any vegetarians out there.

We also split an order of Polenta cakes, which came out in a set of three.  The photo didn’t make it in the low light setting though.  Not bad, but a little bit bland and nothing more than filler.  I’d suggest opting for something else, even if you’re a big polenta fan like me.

For my main course, I had the Seared Duck in a Cherry Teriyaki Glaze and served with Roasted Grapes and a Chili Polenta cake.  I was hoping that the polenta cake would be a bit more different than the order we had put in for appetizers, but the variation was limited to the shreds of chili that were placed on top rather than the preparation of the polenta cake itself.  My polenta-excited pants were frowning about this.  The duck was perfectly cooked, although with as much fat as duck has, it’s pretty hard to screw the pooch in making it.  The duck breast was a tad bit small, and still attached to a thick skin of fat, which isn’t necessarily disappointing, but not exactly something worth raving over, either.

The service is very good, with the waiter stepping in right as we were seated and situated, inquiring about our order of water.  Noise is a bit on the high end though, which makes conversation a bit more difficult.

In the end, it seemed like the big winners here are the sushi rolls and a majority of the appetizers.  The vegetarian dishes are limited to what’s on the appetizer list, but there’s a decent enough selection if you’ve given up the meat.  Given the opportunity to go back, I’d probably try a fish based entree to see if that would be better than what I ordered on this particular visit.  I’d definitely go back, but likely for a big occasion or possibly treating some visitors to a special treat of what the city has to offer.

Recommended for:

• Wannabe scenesters
• Gregarious parties
• People who wear all white to funerals
• Fish fanatics

Not recommended for:

• Anniversary dinners
• Diehard romantics
• Low talkers
• Trashy hobos with muddy butt

 

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Cafe Atlantico holds a Latino Dim Sum brunch every Sunday morning up until 1:30 in the afternoon, and after reading a glowing review, I decided to get a few people together for their tasting menu. The tasting menu consists of 14 dishes for $35, or a 12 dish vegetarian tasting menu for $25, which was great for Jen. The restaurant is painted in bright, cheerful colors with large abstract paintings hanging from the walls. It’s a bit odd to have separate hostesses on both the first and second floors, but I didn’t really question their policies. We were seated quickly, and just barely catching the tail end of the tasting menu offering in the early afternoon.

We were first treated with a canape style dish of cherry tomatoes paired with cantaloupe and heavy hits of parsley, which really weren’t too impressive, and actually had me slightly worried with such a weak starting dish. Not to say that it was bad, but it wasn’t particularly flavorful, and seemed like an odd dish to serve as a palette cleanser.

Then the flurry of dishes began. We were served with raw oysters with a mango lime oil, mango-anchovy ravioli, and tuna ceviche with coconut. The server was clearly not very confident in his English speaking abilities, and trailed off in his announcement of the mango-anchovy ravioli, so we were all under the impression that it was just a mango cream ravioli.

Including Jen.

She took a bite, and almost threw up on the spot. Think of bringing a glass of water to your mouth and taking a deep gulp, only to find as it burns your esophagus to lava that you’re drinking a glass of straight Kentucky Moonshine. I don’t blame her, and actually felt really bad, because anchovies aren’t exactly a mild flavor. In fact, I actually enjoy anchovies, and even I found these things pretty disgusting.

The oysters and tuna ceviche were decent, but didn’t really stand out at all. The flavors were bland and uninspired, and there was nothing particularly intriguing about the textures of any of these three dishes.

This wasn’t heading in a good direction.

The next dish was a vegetarian dish, plantain chips with shaved slices of pineapple. The plaintain chips weren’t particularly remarkable, but the shaved pineapple was definitely something different and worth crediting to the chefs preparing our food. The dishes were a huge step up from the previous three, but only because the three seafood dishes were so disappointing did it really make the pineapple and plantain chips shine.

The next round of dishes were little shooters of potato and vanilla mousse with caviar (sans caviar for Jen). This turned out to be one of my two favorite dishes of the meal, with a great smooth texture and taste. The other shooter glasses were filled with a hot and cold foie gras with corn soup, but these had no substantial taste to them, and seemed to be little more than cups of slightly flavored foam. If there was supposed to be a sublime enjoyment of this as a Picasso of edible delicacies, it was completely missed by me.

The other dish that turned out to be a solid dish were the conch fritters with a liquid center. Deep fried and slightly crispy on the outside, with a molten hot center, these were fantastic.

Jen was treated with a jicama-avocado ravioli, which turned out pretty well, but again, seemed odd with the soft ravioli skin on the outside and a creamy avocado inside, with little crunch or texture to offset the flavors. She enjoyed them, but I felt like it was another poorly executed dish, although it did have a very nice aesthetic.

The mushroom with egg 63, a sauteed mushroom dish topped with a poached egg, was definitely interesting, but there was almost no way to get all of the poached egg into your mouth with just the mushrooms it was served with. I felt like the dish could have used some sort of bread or absorbent vegetable to help sop up the egg without having it all go to waste. What does the 63 stand for? Probably the number of iterations it took the restaurant to get this dish to even this crappy level of ‘perfection’.

I feel like at this point, I should really stop going into each and every single dish. Overall, the Latino Dim Sum was a huge disappointment. There are definitely some choice dishes that stand out and salvage the meal from being a complete disaster, but overall, the experience is a giant FAIL. When you are one dish away from the finale, you are allowed to order any of your sampled dishes again, so we had another round of the jicama-avocado raviolis, the mushroom vanilla mousse, and the conch fritters, which helped bring up the enjoyment of the meal a notch. The guacamole isn’t included in the meal, but I put in an order for the table prepped green cream just so we’d have something else that couldn’t be screwed up. In truth, their guacamole is actually very good, and another solid dish that helps balance the army of bad dishes from the tasting menu.

The last dish, a dessert, is best described as a crustless french toast with queso cheese and maple syrup. It’s an interesting dish that works, but isn’t richly satisfying as you would expect.

Jen actually didn’t really care for this dish, but I couldn’t get enough of it. Mostly because I was still drowning out the anchovy flavors from earlier.

While this foray of flavors could be touted as a great value, in the end, I wouldn’t recommend this place to anyone as a destination. There are some standouts that don’t make it a complete outrage, but I could be served up with four cold pizzas from the night before, and be exponentially happier. If anything, I think this place really highlights the fact that it does take an adventurous kitchen to create fine foods that are unique and look amazing, but you simply can’t neglect the most fundamental point, that it has to taste good, too.

minibar, a small six seat section of the restaurant, stands as its own entity from Cafe Atlantico, and the two only share the same space, but not the same chefs or menus. I won’t hold Cafe Atlantico’s poor food against minibar, and still hope to one day give it it’s fair day in court.

View a map of Cafe Atlantico here.

 

 

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