It’s a fact that there aren’t many diners in the District, something that’s by and far relegated to the suburbs of MD and VA. It’s also a fact that I love greasy spoons and diners because of the fact that you can get breakfast orders in just about as late as you’d like during the day. So Jen took me off on an adventure to explore the city, navigating the streets of Capitol Hill until we reached our destination…Pete’s Diner.

Pete has long since come and gone both in ownership and in life, but the two little Asian ladies that run it these days aren’t short in character or energy. The diner is strange hodgepodge of eclectic decorations, from fake fir trees, spray-painted bamboo decorations, Chinese calendars, police badge collections, even a Buddha shrine, this is everything I’d think of putting together in a strange culture clash of a restaurant and calling it the Chinese American Diner. Even the coffee here, albeit a bit on the weak side, is served in giant Chinese tea cups.

The diner does offer traditional American breakfast favorites, including a variety of omelets. Jen had a Spinach Omelet with Swiss Cheese, while I opted for the Western – whipped up with bacon, snausage, green peppers, onions, tomatoes, and cheese. It’s served with a hefty serving of home fries, toast, and topped with a ‘this little piggy’ sprig of bacon.

Pancakes are also on deck- I ordered a side of Sweet Potato Pancakes to share with Jen. Fluffy, moist pancakes that unfortunately aren’t gluten free, but for most people, that’ll work out just fine.

While nothing about the food or this diner stands out as extraordinary, it does serve as a nice little anchor of dining space to give Capitol Hill a bit more color. The owners are vocal, jovial, and aren’t afraid to get a little friendly- one of the owners started to touch and coo over my bicep, while the other admonished her.

“HEY! NO TOUCH CUSTOMERS! LOOK ONLY!”

As it turns out, the one thing I can’t count on my girlfriend for is to save me from being molested from tiny Asian ladies. Thanks for the help, babe.

All in all, a tiny greasy spoon like this isn’t the type of place Jen and I would go to again and again, but it’s a nice little neighborhood spot, crucially placed right next to the Library of Congress. They also offer a number of sammiches, milkshakes, soups, subs, salads, and amazing meal deals to keep a little extra scratch in your wallet.

Make sure you’ve loaded up on hard currency though, this place runs strictly on cash.

See Pete’s Diner on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Frugalistas
• Paleoheads
• Vegetarians
• Zone Dieters
• Greasy Spoon Gorging

Not Recommended For:

• Black Tie Brunches
• Organic Omelets
• Five Fork Placesetting Feasts

With a name like the Flying Pan in the heart of Hong Kong, the now ancient joke of “flied rice, you plick!” from Lethal Weapon 4 comes swimming up back from the depths of my mind. But all ridiculous jokes aside, it is incredibly difficult to find a good breakfast in Hong Kong. For all intents and purposes, it seems to be the one meal that the city would rather forget. There’s certainly a wide array to cafes willing to accommodate your money in exchange for meats of questionable origins, half-cooked, runny eggs, and all the congee you can eat, but after several frustrating days of disappointing meals, Jen and I turned to the Googles for help.

The one place that came up time and time again as the best place for a more traditional Western breakfast was the Flying Plan. Deep in the heart of ex-pat district in Central, it’s easy enough to find once you board the travelator- a seemingly endless stretch of inclined moving walkways that snake their way over the bustling commerce of the streets below.

The sign for the Flying Pan can be seen as you take the travelator (yes, that’s the official name of it) up the hill, and being situated in the ex-pat community is the perfect location for the restaurant.

Stepping inside past the sliding door (which you have to manually slide open and closed yourself), the familiar diner decor, large plastic covered menus and tiled tables all seem to beckon a comforting feeling of a greasy spoon back home, and being the only greasy spoon in the city that we could find, the restaurant already had a lot going for it.

There are some anomalies here- but all for the better. Copies of various publications are plentiful at the door, including a local version of the Wall Street Journal if you’re into catching up on current events. Omelettes and the house specials come with your choice of an array of freshly squeezed juices such as orange, grapefruit, apple, cranberry, tomato, pineapple, or lemonade. You also get your choice of two sides, including spiced apples (highly recommended), fresh fruit, grilled tomatoes (another favorite between Jen and me), potatoes, baked beans, grits, or a small garden salad, and THEN your selection of white or wheat toast, an english muffin, a biscuit or a bagel to boot.

There’s a copious selection of omelettes to choose from, and I’m a little upset that I never got around to ordering the Kitchen Sink – an omelette stuffed with veggies, meat, and cheese, something that’s quite obviously designed for my inner fat kid. That’s not to say you can’t get by with the other choices, like my selection of the Three Little Pigs, with bacon, snausage,  and ham. You also have the option of ordering an egg white omelette if yolks make you scurred.

Which they shouldn’t, you ninny.

Jen dove right in with the Eggs Sardou – an eggs benedict version sans the meaty awesomeness, but with the addition of artichoke, tomatoes and spimmach. I guess I can give her a pass, being my girlfriend and all.

The food isn’t the most amazing diner food I’ve ever had, but it’s the best breakfast you’ll find in the city at a reasonable price. Service is very good, the space is clean, and you can’t go wrong with any of the options of pancakes, waffles, french toast, or blintzes on the menu. If you’re up for a challenge, there’s always the 4x4x4 Monster Pan – a large platoon of 4 eggs, 4 strips of bacon, and 4 sausage links, served with 4 slices of toast, 4 sides, and your choice of either a large glass or 2 small glasses of juice.

Just enough to fuel a paleohead until lunch.

See the Flying Pan on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Vegetarians
• Frugalistas
• Late Night Breakfasts

Not Recommended For:

• Claustrophobics
• Vegans
• First Dates
• Mergers & Acquisitions
• Hanging Out, Plotting World Domination

Blue Moon Diner is much like one of the first girls you kissed in high school – unpretentious, fun, and filled with all sorts of liquor.  By day, it serves as a local trough for the masses, with the four hallmarks of any good diner worth its salt : a kitchen half obscured by two swivel doors, shelves covered in an assortment of liquors, bar seating at a long formica bar that extends the length of the establishment, and several tables of seating, for those who have to have a proper dining experience when they’re eating out.

But who cares about any of that?

What brought me here on a sunny winter afternoon is the promise of the most impressive looking pancakes this side of the of the Mississippi.  I could care less about the shelves upon shelves of Elvis memorabilia, carelessly shelved wherever there was space, or the two elvish waitresses, scuttling about the floor, armed with pots of hot java, dressed in tattoos and makeup.

Which is not to discredit the coffee here.  It’s nothing to write about in your correspondences to you friends in Tokyo, but it’s good enough to keep you warm and asking for refills again and again.

That’s not to discredit the omelets here, either.  Three eggs with a cheese of your choosing (cheddar, feta, swiss, provolone, gouda, $1.00 for aged parmesan, blue, or goat cheese) and any number of other toppings available (tomato, red onion, sweet peppers, spinach, zucchini, button mushrooms, or sour cream at $0.50 each, or bacon, ham, sausage, wild mushrooms, and salsa at $1.00 each), I was very happy with my order, a simple omelet with gouda, served with hashbrowns and toast.  It’s refreshing to go to a diner that offers so many ways to make exactly what you want, that strays from the typical selection of toppings you’d find at most other diners.

But as I had previously mentioned, what I’m here are for the pancakes.  Three buttermilk griddle pancakes, served with powdered sugar.  These pancakes were well above my expectations – fluffy, buttery, Homer pancakes.

Yes.  Homer pancakes.  Or as I’d like to call them, ‘Auuughghghghghghghggh’.

Apparently the cook behind those swivel doors has a rack of stencils, everything from George Costanza to Dr. Dre to, well, the most beloved dysfunctional father on prime time television.  The sheer novelty brought me in to Blue Moon Diner, but the batter they use for these hot griddle pancakes is off the chain good.  So much so that I wouldn’t hesitate to say I’d happily go back there on my next trip to Charlottesville just to have these pancakes again.

Blue Moon has long hours and an even longer menu selection, which can be seen here.  The staff is friendly and the owner can strike up a good conversation with just about anyone.  Quirks are in abundance here, but in a good way…and isn’t that what makes a restaurant great? Stop by, and tell them Norm sent you. They’ll give you a weird look, because they have no fucking clue who I am, but hey, at least you’ll get a good meal out of it.

Blue Moon Diner can be found on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Greasy spoon lovers
• Simpsons fanatics
• Hangovers
• Vegetarians
• Paleo heads
• Zone Dieters

Not Recommended For:

• Vegans
• Copyright Infringement Lawyers
• Weight Watchers
• Germaphobes

The Original Pancake House is a chain of diners with locations all over the country.  These diners are in the same vein as IHOP, but the primary focus at TOPH is without a doubt, pancakes, and lots of them.  The variety extends not only to unique creations such as the Bacon Pancakes or Georgia Pecan Pancakes, but they also serve Wheat Germ Pancakes, Swedish Pancakes, Gluten Free Pancakes, as well as a raft of other choices.

On this particular visit, I decided that I should give one of TOPH’s house specialties a try.  They offer two pancake specials:  the Apple Pancake (optionally served a la mode) and the Dutch Baby, of which I opted for the former.  The Apple Pancake is made with Granny Smith apples and pure Sinkiang cinnamon, while the Dutch Baby is served with whipped butter, lemon, and powdered sugar. Both are placed in the oven and baked to perfection. It’s only one pancake with each order, so, I went for the Apple Pancake a la mode.

Naturally.

With a side of turkey sausage links.

I mean, how much food could a single pancake really be, right?

Sweet merciful crap, if I’ve ever said that you can’t have too much of a good thing, I take it back.  Babies wail at the whisper of the order.  Old ladies faint at the sight of it departing the kitchen.  Virgins…heh.  Well.  Virgins must be sacrificed to the great pancake God Pancaykahthopalu for such a thing to be created.

Really though, this was a thing of beauty.  Not really the fluffy type of pancake you expect, but this thing comes off more as a giant dish of bread pudding topped with cinnamon apples. It was just…a little overwhelming.

The six scoops of ice cream didn’t exactly help, either.

It seemed that with a dish that’s so over the top, everything else would come as sub-par.  But no.  The coffee here is actually reasonable, and the wait staff occasionally saunters by to top you off, making each visit to TOPH a four cup minimum.  The sausage was tasty, but in retrospect, totally unnecessary.  This thing makes a better shared dish if you’re going to go for it, but make sure that you’ve got plenty of time to nap after.  Believe me, you’ll need it. The coffee will only suffice in getting you home without falling asleep at the wheel.

The Original Pancake House can get busy in the morning on the weekends, but late morning/early afternoon brunches are perfect.  The place closes at 3pm, so don’t wait too long to get in and have a good meal with good friends.

Recommended for:

• Pancaykahthopalu Zealots
• Brunchers
• Binge Eaters
• Diner Junkies

Not Recommended for:

• Carbaphobes
• Weak-willed dieters
• Screaming children
• Impatient Gastronoms

The Original Pancake House has numerous locations all over the country.  Find your local one here.

Image Credit: Flickr user jagosaurus

Metro 29 Diner is a free standing diner on route 29 in Arlington, and has the great distinction of not only being one of the best diners in the area, but also a locally owned one as well. It’s hard to miss this place as it maintains the traditional diner exterior, with just barely enough chrome and neon lighting to outshine a Japanese Decotora truck.

It's like a slot machine, only it spits out blinding death. And delicious noodles.

The interior of the diner has been renovated and has a very contemporary and clean feel to it, unlike the traditional leather booths and mini jukeboxes of chains like Silver Diner. Think of Metro 29 Diner as a fancier IHOP. Less screaming, more pie.

Speaking of pie, the desserts at Metro 29 are outstanding. The display case that greets you at the front door warrants a viewing, with enormous slices of cake, pie, and canolis. ENORMOUS. Their slices of Boston Creme Pie puts Rhode Island into complete darkness. And who wouldn’t want to die by way of pie? Much better than seppuku.

The dish portions are also nothing to scoff at here. I ordered the challah bread French Toast, because, clearly, I still can’t get enough of the Frenchies. The jumbo slices of French toast are amazing. Thick cut, soaked in egg and butter, and good enough to be eaten on their own without accouterments. I had it with two eggs sunny side up and a side of bacon. Eggs cooked sunny side up is an art, because you run the fine line of either overcooking the yolks or not cooking them enough. Fortunately, the cooks here are the Van Goghs of egg prep, because these eggs came out perfectly. The ‘side’ of bacon actually was about 10 strips of pig, no snout, little grease and perfectly crisp.

Service is friendly and fast, just the way a diner should be. Our waitress was quick to take down orders, and the food came out in less than 15 minutes.

If there were to be one complain I have about this place, it’s the fact that they don’t serve real maple syrup here. I do my best to avoid my intake of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) at all times. It’s easy enough to do during my normal diet during the week, because I avoid refined sugars altogether, but during cheat meals, I’ll have to pay extra care to check the ingredients on things like preserves and syrup. Metro 29 Diner serves up Maple Flavored Syrup, which is why I went with the nude French Bread, but I wasn’t disappointed in the least.

Metro 29 is a great place greasy spoon along I-66 and Highway 29. The wait time varies depending on when you go, but Saturday mornings are generally relaxed and you can usually get a seat without much of a wait. Definitely plan an off the rails meal here, and be smart enough to save room for dessert at the end. Highly recommended, and I’ll be back here again.

View a map of Metro 29 Diner here.

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Angelo's

Angelo’s is my pick for the best bang for your buck in Ann Arbor. The diner sits right at the west corner of the University of Michigan Medical Center, which is probably for the best with the likelihood that you’ll overstuff yourself with the food here. I know I almost did just that.

I’ve come to the conclusion that diners/greasy spoon type establishments are my favorite types of restaurants. The fact that you can get a good breakfast any time of day without some crap rule about switching to a lunch menu at a “reasonable hour” is good by me.  So Jen made it a point for us to stop by Angelo’s during our weekend visit.  Wow.  The servers are quick to take your order, likely serving regulars who know exactly what they want, and coming time after time for just that.  But don’t fret, they’ll still show you a little Midwestern compassion and give you some time without the usual East Coast Scowl you’ll get around DC for dilly dallying a bit longer than it takes to open the menu.  (Shout out to my boys at Pho 75…What’s up!)

Deep Fried Raisin French Toast with Fresh Berries and Whipped Cream

I loved the fact that I could really taste the freshness of the ingredients while adding in the fact that Angelo’s doesn’t try to skimp you on portions.  The bread is homemade, so the Deep Friend Raisin French Toast comes fully loaded and will satisfy the hungriest of foodies.  Jen and I split the french toast along with an order of the Spinach and Feta Omelet, which came secretly filled with enough feta to sink a small island off the coast of Greece under its weight.  Sweet merciful Jebus, so much feta!

Spinach and Feta Omelet

Normally Jen doesn't like the taste of eggs in an omelet, but I heard no such complaints here.

In retrospect, it was likely a poor choice for me to order the Raspberry and Chocolate Chip Pancakes for a side dish (it even came with a mini side dish of Turkey Sausages, how could I lose?!). Jen swears that these were Michigan raspberries, and with her being a vegetarian, I don’t really doubt that her sense of taste is really that good. That being said, I’m still not giving up my studies in meatonomics.

Chocolate Chip Pancakes with Michigan Raspberries and Whipped Cream. A perfectly rational side order.

Secretly, these Turkey Sausages are plotting your demise.

We were so stuffed from our meal here, Jen and I were barely able to split a dinner several hours later.  If you know me, you know I'm constantly hungry, unless I've just recently exited a fine buffet establishment.  So to say I still wasn't ready for dinner by the end of the day, well, that's a huge accomplishment.

Get your starve on for Angelo’s, and view a map of them here.