If you want great, traditional ethnic food like dim sum, you’re going to have to eat out in the ‘burbs. There’s just no way around that fact. Sure, there are really high end dim sum places like Ping Pong in DC, but the food there comes at a higher price point, not to mention that the dishes are “safe bets” with most diners.

To get a bit more adventurous, you’ll have to go to places like A&J Restaurant in Annandale. The restaurant, tucked away in a little mixed use retail building off of Little River Turnpike, has been there for as long as I can remember. The faux stone facades and Chinese decor are a bit dated, but they work well enough to give the place a bit of character.

There are traditional dim sum dishes, such as the Steamed Pork ( ’buns’ as they were listed on the menu) Dumplings, which are rice crepe wrapped and served in well used aluminum tins. These dumplings aren’t the most flavorful, or beautifully presented, but certainly get the job done.

I’d never feel completely satisfied without having an order of the Pan Fried Dumplings, served as long logs of deliciously fried goodness. The downside to getting eight enormous dumplings here is that for the most part, these dumplings are fairly lackluster in taste. A pot of chili garlic oil on your table comes in very handy to remedy this, as does the decanter of soy sauce within arm’s length. It’s a shame that this dish doesn’t come with a dumpling sauce to complement it.

The wonton soup remains a classic. Boiled dumplings in broth with strips of egg and scallions, these are a perfect remedy for blustery winter days. A must have if you’re new to Chinese food, and a warm “comfort food” soup if you’re not.

The menu goes a bit beyond typical dim sum dishes with the likes of this Bean Curd Skin with Mustard Greens and Soy Beans (Edamame). It’s a great dish for vegetarians, or those who want to try something a bit different beyond the various dumplings, buns, and tarts served at more Americanized dim sum houses.

If you’re really adventurous, try the bean curd with a 1000 year old egg. The egg really isn’t a 1000 years old, but rather a regular egg that’s been preserved in a mixture of clay, ash, salt, and lime that gives it a unique appearance. The egg white turns black and the yolk turns a slightly greenish color, but the creamy taste combined with the bean curd is amazing, and by far my favorite dish of the meal. The creaminess reminded me somewhat of a ricotta cheese, but with a much better overall flavor.

Worst case scenario, if you find that you’re just not in the mood for dumplings or various plates like the above, you can always opt for a bowl of noodles, which come in a multitude of varieties, like the spicy beef and tendon noodle soup below. You have your choice of wide or vermicelli style noodles,  just make sure to specify your preference to your server.

One of the great things about a meal here is the ridiculous cheap prices, which are more than reasonable, and make it very accessible to get in your dumpling fix when you’re in the neighborhood looking for something to eat. The food here is good for the most part, and some dishes truly stand out as must haves, like the bean curd with a 1000 year egg.  Be adventurous, try something that looks like it could be interesting, and you’ll be a better, more cultured gastronomycist for it.

See A&J Restaurant in Annandale here. There’s also one in Rockville, which you can find here.

Recommended For:

• Frugalistas
• First Dates
• Family Get-togethers
• Vegetarians
• Tapas Hounds

Not Recommended For:

• Wall Street Protests
• Vegans
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Burning Man Baccalaureates

Sonoma Restaurant & Wine Bar sits in the same block as a number of other restaurants on the edge of Capitol Hill that are leading the effort to revitalize the area as a gastro destination for DC, and lends itself as one of the finer places to enjoy a classed up date, a girl’s night out, or as a perfect destination for a quiet, client dinner.

Food portions are much more substantial than what you’d find in similar restaurants downtown, but the quality remains high, as evidenced with a large dollop of the Pipe Dreams Chevre served to our table, which we highly recommend. That is, unless you’re a true paleohead and refute the existence of dairy in your life. In that case, I’d also recommend the mountain of sliced prosciutto, served with several warm logs of focaccia for those who which to indulge in a bit of bread.

There’s a plethora of options to choose from on the menu, none likely to disappoint, but make sure you lend your waiter your ear for the special offers. I was lucky enough to enjoy the red snapper crudite along with a pork sausage stuffed inside of a crispy suckling pig, which couldn’t have been much more of a pork lover’s wet dream.

Well, there’s always room to add bacon.

Service is top notch, prices are consistent with what you’d see downtown, but again, the plate sizes do not disappoint. Lighting, however, is not the most favorable for nom photography.

See Sonoma on a map here.

Feel free to contact Sonoma to host your next wine mixer.

Jen and I returned late last night from Michigan, so no post today. I’ll try to have something up later this week!

I try to keep posts on here fairly lighthearted, but it’s important for me to reiterate that the nutritional choices I make are intentional, especially when eating out. I pay visits to restaurants with the intent of enjoying a well prepared meal, the service, and of course, the affable company. So it’s natural for me to be disappointed to read stories like these, where professionals who make a career out of providing advice to those who lack the fundamental education in nutrition are being hard hit with the agendas of processed food manufacturers. Grist has an eye opening article on the matter here.

Thoughts? Comments?

On a recent roadtrip up north, Jen and I stopped in Burlington, VT, situated next to Lake Champlain, the very same of Lake Champlain chocolate origin, but not the very same of Burlington Coat Factory origin. No, this Burlington happens to have a decidedly different set of industries that have nothing to do with coats, jackets, and frocks, but rather, snowboards*, chocolates**, and the patchouliest of crunchy, mother Earth-lovin’ hippies.

That’s not such a bad thing, as it turns out that being eco conscious can make for a decent business model, like it has for Magnolia Bistro. The restaurant engages in a plethora of green practices, including composting or recycling almost all of the waste created, using strictly non-GMO soy and grains in all the dishes, sourcing local farms for fresh ingredients, and using recycled materials throughout the restaurant.

Inside, exposed brick walls and floors alongside wood floors and tables lend a certain warmth to the interior, with plenty of local artwork adorning every free space throughout the restaurant.

The menu aims to satisfy the diets of almost all types of visitors: vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, local, and even some love for my fellow paleoheads.

There are a number of interesting dishes to have you salivating before it even hits your table, like the Banana Bread French Toast, which can be ordered as a full plate, or as a side dish, as pictured above. The french toast is made from organic grains and fair trade organic bananas which are baked in house, dipped in soy milk, rice milk, cinnamon, and vanilla, fried to a slight crisp and finally topped with a dash of powdered sugar.

There’s also the Crispy Steel Cut Oatmeal cakes, served here with vanilla cream sauce for dipping. The top and bottom are slightly crispy, as the name would suggest, with a soft, nutty interior, giving this dish a nice textural change from the traditional bowl of porridge like oatmeal, and a fantastic dish to share. Although if you’re eating with me, you might want to make it a double.

Omelets made here still use the highest quality of ingredients with locally sourced eggs and bacon, but I found the order to be a bit lacking in substance and presentation. In fact, I even put in for a double order of bacon on the side just to get in a bit more from our brunch. In retrospect, knowing full well that I’d stray from my paleo ways for this meal, I’d probably opt for a sammich or three as my main course. It’s hard to turn away from choices such as the Open-FaceSteak Sammich (local marinated steak topped with mushrooms, onions, and cheddar cheese) or the Smokey Mountain BBQ Pork (local slow cooked pork made in a house barbecue sauce).

The service here is good, and there are always a number of dishes written up on the chalkboard near the bar that list the daily specials, in the off chance that nothing sparks your interest on the 100% recycled paper menu. Prices seemed to be pretty reasonable to me, but I could see how some might think of it as being a bit on the high end for a college town. Just keep in mind that high quality ingredients don’t come by cheap, and high quality sourced goods is what this restaurant is all about.

All in all, Magnolia Bistro is an excellent place to stop in for an early meal before exploring Burlington, and a great addition to this small college town. It is better suited for the vegans and vegetarians, as evidenced by the other offerings on the menu, but it doesn’t discriminate to meat eaters, which is just fine by me.

And yes, they have pancakes, too.

See Magnolia Bistro on a map here. (Note: It’s tucked away in a multi use commercial building on the basement floor, so it’s a little hard to find. You’ll have to enter through the building doors first and go downstairs!)

Recommended For:

• Vegans
• Vegetarians
• Localvores
• Patchouli Princesses
• Canadian Campers

Not Recommended For:

• Rhinestone Cowboys
• Kenny Powers Powerlunches

* Burlington is the home of Burton Snowboards HQ.

** Burlington is also the home of Lake Champlain Chocolates HQ.

You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you can not fool anybody with that turkey bacon shit you’re serving us, bro. -Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln the Restaurant celebrates the life and times of Abraham Lincoln the U.S. President, through food, drink, and kitschy decor. The first you’ll notice walking through the doors of the restaurant is, that, well, you’re now inside a restaurant. Obviously. But take a closer look around, and the more minute details come out, such as the copper coated bar, resembling only what would best be described as simultaneously ‘the color of Abe Lincoln’s bowling ball and his ’84 Coupe DeVille’. The floor is completely tiled from end-to-end with copper pennies, and an oversized white leather bench sofa with penny pushpin details  serves as not only one of the largest seats in the restaurant, but a gentle remind of Abe’s giant marble chair at the Lincoln Memorial. It is with this great attention to detail that one can’t help but wonder why there aren’t more presidential themed/named restaurants in the area. Cross dressing servers at Hoover’s? Why not?

The food is served in the small plate style that has run amok among restaurants, allowing you to get a wide sampling of tastes without really ever really digging in an enjoying a full course of a meal. The upside is that if you do order something that doesn’t appeal to you, then the odds are that you can order something else that does. The downside is that you can and will likely order something that doesn’t appeal to you, and you’ll still have to pay for it.

Still, I guess I prefer hedging my bets and going all in on a nice sized plate of food, but sometimes you have to just go with it.

The tater tots with dill sour cream and American salmon roe are delicious and a slight feat to pop entirely in your mouth, with just enough details to make it fancy, but not stray too far from its simple roots.

The Pennsylvania Duck Sausage Roll is also a must have, a high brow version of Pigs in a Blanket, served with a bucket of mustard for dipping, and topped with microgreens for just a bit of color. The natural fat of the duck keeps the sausage succulent and flavorful, perfectly contrasted with the warm, crisp flakiness of the dough encasing it.

Other notable dishes included the Farmhouse Macaroni’n'Cheese, a single serving cast iron skilled filled with macaroni, then generously coated in a hot mess of smoked gouda, parmesan, and bubbling hot sharp cheddar cheese, a must have for any cheese eating surrender monkey out for a meal.

One of my favorites of the meal was a deconstructed version of the Chicken Pot Pie- a cast iron pan filled with chicken, spring peas, carrots, and celery, finished with a fresh soft and flaky pastry stove pipe top hat. Lincoln would have been proud.

The Lobster Beignets are another win for the restaurant, gently fried chunks of lobster served in a creamy aioli sauce with heirloom tomatoes and english peas. I did feel that the portion was a bit on the smallish side for this dish, but that simply forced me to savor each bite that much more.

And if you didn’t feel like you had enough duck from the Duck Rolls, you can always order the Coffee Rubbed Duck Breast, served with plum, walnuts, and a farro salad. Tender, juicy, and full of awesome for your belly.

That’s not say everything is mindblowingly great here. The Citrus Marinated Beet Salad with pickled gooseberries and horseradish creme fraiche failed to impress me, nor did the Watermelon Salad with endives, feta cheese and olives

The same could be said about the Poached Arctic Char (pictured top left), even with the help of several strips of prosciutto wedged in between the broccoli florets and golden raisins. The Braised Pork Belly (pictured top right), normally a sure fire win for me, lacked the crisp texture and ended up being really living up to what I know pork belly can be.

The Heirloom Tomato Risotto (pictured bottom left) with goat cheese also seemed a little deflated, but there’s only so much you can do with risotto, I suppose.  Finally, the Maryland Lump Crab Salad (pictured bottom right) was a reasonable dish, served as a roll, but didn’t impress enough to recommended it to anyone as more than a filler.

Lastly, the desserts here aren’t amazing, but if you’re still hungry, they’ll get the job done. I recommend the Peach Crisp a la Mode over the Funnel Cake with Berries, of which the latter looks more like something you’d end up cleaning out of your hamster’s cage after a few days of neglect.

Overall, I enjoyed eating here and paying tribute to the great 16th President of the U.S. There’s enough of a variety here to find something you like, and the cuisine strikes a nice balance between your favorite down-home comfort foods and a fancy place you could take your parents to while they’re in town. The noise levels tend to get a bit high when it’s busy, but you can always opt to sit outside for people watching when the weather’s nice. Service is reasonable and pleasant, but nothing remarkable, which is sometimes all you could ask for in a good meal.

See Lincoln on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Groups and Troupes
• Birthday Dinners
• Comfort Food Cornucopias
• First Dates

Not Recommended For:

• Tour Buses
• Vegetarians
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters

If a restaurant opened up with a focus on healthy leaning junk foods, would you be willing to support them? Superfood enhanced pizzas, nachos, burgers, and more, all designed between a chef and a nutritionist.

Welcome to FunXion. The concept is a restaurant that caters to the health bent types such as myself, despite all the deliciously trashy things I eat on the weekend for your pleasure, as well as mine. The food here is prepared without oils, salts, or added sugars, a unique take, and requiring considerable  creativity in the kitchen to make things that will still pass as delectable to the majority of diners.

Despite these hurdles, FunXion is able to still come out on top. The chips and guacamole are different from your standard corn chips, but not so significantly that you’d stop more than a momentary pause to recognize the difference, and get back to your regularly scheduled noms. The buffalo nachos, with ground buffalo meat, chili, cheese, and vegetables, doesn’t seem to fare as well, with the chips going soggy far before you’ve gotten through the entire plate.

The sliders are fantastic for being a healthy version of a Krystal/White Castle burger. Definitely try the sirloin sliders, and if you’re feeling like a bit adventurous, try mixing up the meats for a double patty slider, such as the buffalo sirloin or the portabello and sirloin. The point is, get the damn sirloin already.

The pizzas aren’t going to make a run for the best pizzas in town, but if you’re craving a pie without the complete wreaking of havoc of your body, I can’t think of a better place to go out and get one in the area. The music was thumping a bit too loud for me to be positive that I heard it right, but I’m pretty certain that the dough is made with antioxidant rich acai berry, something I’d never consider throwing into the second hottest Italian export known to humankind (the first being, of course, the late Bea Arthur. RAAAAAWR.)

Speaking of the ol’ oontz-oontz-oontz, FunXion turns into a lively place for drinks and dance club beats just around 10pm, so make sure to get your food in early, unless you plan to stick around a mingle after. The service is extremely accommodating and friendly, as our server/night manager not only took down our order without writing a thing, but made sure we had everything we needed during our meal, but also simultaneously handled the transition of the restaurant into night-time lounge.

There’s plenty of wine, beer, liquor, AND health food drinks available, so don’t be afraid to try a couple to help wash down that food. And the photos? Sorry. The decidedly pink and red lights completely ruined my shots, so you’ll have to go and check it out for yourself.

On a final note, the prices here are more than reasonable. Jen and I stuffed as much as we could into ourselves and still didn’t spend as much as you’d expect to pay at any number of other places in the city. A huge plus. I’d definitely like to go back and support this business as much as I can.

See FunXion on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Zone Dieters
• Vegetarians
• First Dates
• Frugalistas
• Lean Cuisine Eating Machines

Not Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• Pastafarians
• Finicky Feeders
• Chinese Tour Bus Drop Off Destinations

Pizzas are a hotly contested subject, once you’ve grown past the world of big chain pies like Pizza Hut, Domino’s, or Little Caesar’s (Little Caesar’s will ALWAYS hold a special place in my belly). What makes a perfect pizza? Hell, what makes a good pizza? There are endless variations of crust, toppings, and style, but I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a pretty big pizza floozy, as long it’s good, hot, and it tells me what a bad, bad non-paleo boy I’m being. I’ve been long wanting to get down to Capitol Hill to try out Spike Mendelsohn’s (of Top Chef fame) We, The Pizza ever since it opened last summer. So when Jen suggested we go check it out, I had no other choice but to oblige.

These days, Capitol Hill is a pretty gentrified place to hang out. You won’t find dealers selling crack on every corner like in the days of Marion Barry, but instead, brown flip flops flap-flap-flap down the sidewalks, and local residents have a wide array of family friendly establishments to choose from in the neighborhood.

Once you step inside, you’re immediately greeted by an open display case of all the by-the-slice pizzas available. The variety ranges from classics like the Fresh Buffalo Mozzarella and Roasted Tomato, a Spinach & Artichoke (with bechamel, sauteed spinach, roasted artichokes, aged provolone and parm), Coletti’s Notorious BBQ (slow roasted pulled pork, BBQ sauce, cheddar cheese and crispy onions) or a Buffalo Chicken (jumbo chunks of spicy chicken, creamy blue cheese, mozzarella, and hot sauce). These aren’t weak, floppy pizza crusts, and if you’re a gorger like me, you might be slightly disappointed that you can’t easily fold a slice in half and start shoving it into your face. Instead, patrons are forced to dutifully enjoy each flavorful, well balanced, and hearty bite, one at a time.

And maybe that sort of eating isn’t such a bad thing.

I order a slice each of the Buffalo Chicken and Coletti’s Notorious BBQ, both excellent choices that I highly recommend. Jen picked the traditional Buffalo Mozzarella, topped with generous chunks of fresh mozzarella and basil leaves big enough to keep you dry from a storm.

Make sure you try at least one of sodas made to order here. While there’s definite your traditional soda machine on tap in the back, the hand made sodas are mind blowingly good. I ordered the Ubet Manhattan Egg Cream soda, starting with chocolate syrup, a large serving of heavy egg cream, soda water, and POW! Instant chocolatey tastiness.

If you’re not entirely sold on having a pizza here, the restaurant also offers a reasonable selection of subs and 7, 14, 20 piece buckets of buffalo wings. Big buffalo wings. What exactly do you call jumbo buffalo wings? There’s no skimping on meat here, and the back bar has you covered with pretty much any kind of sauce you’d want to dip in, including BBQ, hot sauce, ranch, blue cheese, and more.

While the pizzas here aren’t exactly going to win over the Neapolitan crowd, they’re still pretty damn good in my eyes. Thick Sicilian pizzas cooked in a cast-iron pan are also available here, but I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy a slice of anything that suits your hunger. There’s plenty of seating outside for cool summer nights, and ample seating upstairs for everything else. Parking is pretty easy to find, and this is some of the best food you’ll come into near to Capitol after a long day tour.

See We, the Pizza on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Vegetarians
• People Watching
• First Dates
• Frugalistas

Not Recommended For:

• Neapolitan Naysayers
• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• Organic Olivias

We’re taking the week off to relax and rub our bellies. See you next week!

The Northeast H street corridor is gaining speed and becoming the new Adam’s Morgan. The small three block strip of restaurants and bars draws in throngs of visitors looking to spend a little money and have a lot of fun. Granville Moore’s stands as one of the first bars in that area, a self proclaimed gastropub with a ‘healthy Belgian fetish’.

Quick Tip: If you’re confused by the phrase ‘ Belgian fetish’ like I was, don’t bother putting it into Google. Ever.

What the establishment comes down to is a no-frills drinking establishment with some pretty good seafood on the side. While the interior is a bit on the gritty side, it’s full of character, as evidenced by a giant reclaimed wood bar upstairs, converted church pews for bench seating, and wide plank wood floors to match.

Jen ordered the Pappardelle sans shrimp, which still comes with slices of fresh pencil asparagus and loaded with parmesan cheese. Unfortunately, the appetizer comes in appetizer portion, so it’s not quite enough to hold its own as a meal. On the bright side, it’s a very tasty dish that’ll get you read for an entree.

The veggie burger is a thick slab of meatlessness that looks hearty enough, but turns out to be little more than a well seasoned patty of breading with a half plate full of frites. It’s a little lacking in substance, but it’s a decent enough order if you’re a hardcore beer drinking vegetarian who needs something to have with your Belgian ales.

I highly recommend the Fish Sammich. A deep fried Belgian ale battered white fish with remoulade served on a potato bun with cole slaw, I likely could have ordered and completely devoured two of these with ease. Having grown up with numerous trips to Mickey D’s for Filet-o-fish sammiches with my Dad as a kid, this dish sparked memories of those lunches with him in my youth. It also comes with a heaping side of frites covered in sea salt and herbs.

I know absolutely nothing about beers, but I do know I’ve never seen Jen drink one. So to watch her take down two cherry lambics during the course of a meal was pretty impressive. It’s the closest you can get to drinking a cherry lifesaver flavored beer. The beers here are undoubtedly the stars, but the seafood doesn’t slack, either.

While there are a couple of vegetarian dishes on the menu that are godsends for vegetarian patrons, you should expect that you’re going to have to stuff yourself with the various sauces you can dip your frites into. At 50 cents for each, go crazy and try a few of them, especially the Garlic Ranch.

On a final note, make sure you’ve got a way to get a sober ride home from here. With no streetcars planned for service until the end of 2012, not a single Metro station in sight, and plenty of police patrolling the corridor, this is definitely a place you don’t want to be caught swerving at the wheel.

UPDATE: Oh, if you plan on visiting on the weekend, make sure you get in early. Retirement age dinner early, somewhere around 6:30, if you plan to get a table. Or you’ll be facing a two hour waiting list with no call aheads or reservations allowed.

See Granville Moore’s on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Bier Barons and Baronesses
• Belgians with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery
• Bromancing the Stone

Not Recommended For:

• Paleoheads
• Zone Dieters
• First Dates