Pinky’s Pupu Bar & Grill

Pinky’s is just a short drive from Kailua’s beaches, and has a reputation for being the local hangout for the military.  The parking lot is usually filled with trucks, trucks, and the occasional Chevy Malibu rental, much like the one we arrived in.

Everything about this establishment down to the name screams out at you. Pinky’s.  I understand that it’s a nickname for someone, likely the owner, but what do you think of when you think of the color?  Loud.  Over the top.  Which the proprietor here has taken to great lengths to carry through every aspect of this place.  The brightly painted walls, the backlit panels of glass of every color, and a guy on a mic running contests throughout the evening. A night at the Ritz-Carlton this is not.

But you’re at the beach.  And for the most part, if you’re near the beach, you’re going to want to be comfortable, relaxed, and not be treated as a total mutant rolling in wearing a bikini or boardshorts.  That is, unless you’re a guy wearing a bikini, in which case, you’re on your own.

Attire is casual, and so is the food.  Pinky’s takes the things you like to eat, and slowly kill you with it by adding an extra heaping portion of delicious.  Take Exhibit A:

A basket of edamame is, for those of you who aren’t on the Paleo diet, a nice healthy protein packed appetizer.  Douse it with garlic and a sweet thai chili sauce, and you’re teetering slightly more towards the unhealthy side of the scale.  These things were pretty tasty, and a nice change from the typical dusting of sea salt.

What’s that you say?  Still a pretty healthy choice?  Those are fighting words, my friend.  Exhibit B:

I can’t seem to find the descriptioon of this on the menu, so I’m going to call this the Nacho Platter of Armageddon.  A large cruise ship of a plate of nachos covered in pulled pork, jalapenos, olives, diced tomatoes, and enough cheese to feed the city of Paris for a day, this dish is not for the faint of heart.  Pinky’s does not shortchange you on the ingredients, and this something worth sharing with friends.  Little did I know that nobody else at the table would be assisting me in taking down this ship, so I put the best dent in it as I could.

Exhibit C:

Again, another dish that’s not on Pinky’s menu online, but I’d like to call this the Bey Cattle Disaster.  A thick 500 lb. all beef patty, topped with two types of cheese, Sharp Awesome and Swiss Delicious, sandwiched between two slabs of buttered Texas toast and for your healthy serving of vegetables, a deep golden onion ring on top.  For some reason, all I can think of it, “If you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.”

And there you go.

Exhibit D:

The Kalua Pig Plate.  Pinky’s keeps it simple here.  An agglomeration of pulled pork, diced tomatoes, and rice on your plate.  Pork lovers rejoice, the pork here is as tender and delicious as you could want.  It’s a shame that this wasn’t served with a side of guacamole and tortillas, but the pork alone was still a fantastic dish.

Service here is good, but the kitchen seems to have issues getting their line orders right.  Our waitress was about as pleasant as could be (typical Midwest manners), but our food took an eon to arrive.  I’m willing to call it a fluke, and that they’re not always that disorganized in the back.  You’re not going to keep that six pack eating here, but you will find that you’ll have a wide array of delicious choices to fit just about anybody’s cheat meal craving.

See Pinky’s Pupu Bar and Grill on a map here.

Recommended For:

• All the single ladies
• Watching the game with your bros. Brahs. Bromosexuals. Broseph Stalins.
• For those about to pork
• Paleoheads

Not Recommended For:

• Zone Dieters
• A meal before heading to the opera
• An eHarmony first date