Buzz’s Original Steakhouse

While out and about in the area of Kailua on the east coast of Oahu, we were lucky enough to have a friend who’s very familiar with the local places to eat and grab a drink. Our guide took us over to Buzz’s Original Steakhouse, which doesn’t look like much more than a crab shack from the outside.

In fact, it doesn’t look like much more than a crab shack on the inside, either.  What does a crab shack even look like?  Imagine dim lights, wooden walls, wood tables, and an emphasis on the seafood and drinks.  BOOM.  To be fair, this place is a very nice lookin’ shack.  The outdoor seating has a view of the Pacific just within eyesight but not within earshot, about a quarter of a mile away.  The interior is decorated with lots of branded merchandise, etched glass of an Aloha Friday shirt.

Wait, what?

Let’s get something straight.  If I were the owner of a restaurant, and I was thinking to myself, “Man, you know I’ve got a glut of cash in the bank, and I’d really like to blow it one BADASS etched glass panel to class up the place a bit.  What should I get?”

Acceptable Answers:

• Two dragons, breathing fire and ‘melting’ a corner of the glass
• A ninja and a pirate, with swords at each others throats, suspended on a wire over a lagoon full of alligators with laser sights attached to their heads
• Bea Arthur, all nude, but tastefully done

Upon reviewing my list, it is clear this is why I am not allowed to be the owner of a restaurant.

Back to Buzz’s. Let’s get to the brass tacks.

The menu’s come out on giant fraternity like paddles of wood.  Totally random, but a little bit awesome.  Making up for the Aloha Friday etched glass shirt, I’m liking this place a bit more.  People, famous people, visiting Hawaii, would approve of these very manly menus.  Tom Selleck would approve of these menus.

While Jen and our friends were busy ordering drinks and anticipating the carnage from some of the strongest drinks in Oahu, I ordered the food to go with it.  Sauteed Mushrooms, Tuna Sashimi, Artichoke Surprise, and the Calamari Steak.  Unfortunately, the restaurant is a dark cabin on the beach, so the indoor lighting was at a minimum here.  The Artichoke Surprise was ………astonishingly* good.  A bit of manual labor is needed, as the whole artichoke comes out, but the dish itself is good, and not too heavy on the sauce.  This is a great dish if you’re looking for something slightly on the healthier side.  The sauteed mushrooms came in a small bowl, and weren’t really too discernible from something you’d see on top of a burger with some swiss cheese and bacon.

The calamari steak was…well, to put it without hyperbole, LITERALLY THE BEST CALAMARI I’VE EVER HAD.

I stand by that claim.  If you enjoy calamari, you know what to expect.  Rubbery deep fried rings.  Chewy, vaguely seafood tasting dishes you get at a sushi restaurant.  Giant, girthy, shafts of rubber nonsense.  We’re still talking about calamari here, so let’s stay focused, okay?

The Calamari Steak here, however, is none of the above.  It’s a flavorful, ubertender and amazing dish.  This calamari has changed the way I think of fresh calamari being, and in retrospect, wish I had put in an order for a second dish.  Let me say this one more time.  If you think you love calamari, you must come here and order it.

The tuna sashimi, despite being oddly served on a small mountain of lettuce, is also very, very good.  The thinly sliced fish melts in your mouth.  It’s a shame there wasn’t a greater assortment of sashimi available, as I would have no doubt that the kitchen can do just as well of a job with it.

Make sure you have a cab company’s number on hand, or that you can walk back to wherever you’re going, if you’re going to get a little wet with the mixed drinks.

Overall, my opinion of this place is neither good or bad.  It’s got some really nice selections of seafood, although I didn’t try the steak, and for a steakhouse, would like to make the hypothesis that the steaks are pretty good, too.  The drinks will flip your wig, not for their creativity or display,but for the amount of alcohol they dump into these treats for you to imbibe.  Service is average, and while I normally say that this isn’t the greatest place you could take a girl on a first date but, if you don’t live on Oahu already and you fly a girl over to Hawaii for a dinner here, well, damn, go on with your bad self.

Buzz’s has two locations, one in Kailua and one in Pearl city. See Buzz’s Original Steakhouse in Kailua on a map here.

*You thought I was going to say surprise again, didn’t you?  HA!

Recommeded For:

• Calamariphiles
• Drinks at the Beach
• Hanging out with the locals, but with the ones that don’t want you dead
• Zone Dieters
• Paleo Heads

Not Recommended For:

• First Dates (exclusions apply, see above)
• Claustrophobics
• People with Traumatic Fraternity Experiences
• People Who Don’t Appreciate Tom Selleck