Penang

Penang, unbeknownst to me, is actually a chain of Malaysian cuisine restaurants that run along the Atlantic.  The DC location recently reopened its doors to the public, after a vicious fire gutted the space for well over a year.  I had been to Penang on a couple of occasions prior to the inferno, and reasonably enjoyed the atmosphere.  With a completely redone interior, I felt that Jen and I should go and check it out to give this place a proper review.

The layout, from what I remember of it, remained fairly the same.  A set of white loveseats act as the waiting area behind the hostess stand at the front door, with a thriving bar scene to the right of the entrance.  There are a number of tables behind the bar, one of which we were able to get near the window facing out to M Street.

The two of us started our dinner with a small army of appetizers, but because Penang refuses to post their menu to their website, and I neglected to document the name of each dish we ordered, I’ll have to exercise some creative freedom in naming each dish here.

The first, a quintet of meat filled dumplings, although not quite what I had envisioned when I put in the order.  These dumplings, filled with a miscellaneous meat, weren’t terribly memorable, and just barely satiated my craving for dumplings to begin with.  The preparation was great, and the presentation wasn’t terrible, but not something I’d think about ordering on a return visit.

The second order of dumplings, listed as a curry puff dumpling, were seemingly vegetarian on the menu.  However, when they arrived to the table, the waiter informed us that they were actually not vegetarian, and filled with meat.  Provided with the difficult decision to eat all ten dumplings or send one of them back, I manned up and polished each one off…including the bed of shredded carrots and lettuce.  I would absolutely swear that I did not taste one bit of meat in these dumplings, and that the menu had no mention of meat in these dumplings, but because of the plausibility of not being vegetarian, Jen just avoided the risk altogether.  Like the dish before, these weren’t terribly exciting dumplings, not extremely satisfying.  If both these dishes are indicative of the overall quality of dumplings available here, I’d likely skip ordering any of the dumplings on the appetizer menu altogether.

The one thing I do remember enjoying at Penang is their roti bread.  A giant puff of bread, that comes with a flaky top and a chewy bottom, I fully intended this to be the highlight for Jen.  The waiter even brought a vegetarian curry dipping sauce for her, as the normal curry dipping sauce contained large chunks of chicken.

But something wasn’t quite right here.  The roti, with considerably more crispy parts than chewy ones, just wasn’t as filling, or satisfying.  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but at least for me, I felt the lack of the chewy, soft bottom really was a detriment to the enjoyment factor of this dish.  It would have appeared to me that one of the things I enjoyed the most about coming to Penang was nothing but a shadow of its former self.

After a considerable wait, our waiter hurried over with our entrees.  Jen picked out one of her favorites, the vegetarian Drunken Noodles.  With overly wide noodles and a fair amount of vegetables mixed in, I was hoping that this dish would be the savior of the meal for her.  Her response, to my inquiry of satisfaction, amounted to little more than ‘meh’.  We were also presented with another order of dumplings that a food runner tried to unload on our table, but after several futile verbal explanations that it wasn’t our dish, we vigorously shook our heads, and I think he got the drift.

My entree, the Penang Char Kueh Teow (which is one of the nine dishes featured on the site), is one of Penang’s siganture dishes.  A mix of flat rice noodles, shrimp, squid, eggs, chives, and bean sprouts in a black soya chili sauce, resulted an opinion of “BAH!” from me.

Don’t get me wrong, I shoveled this dish down my gullet without barely taking a breath, but that’s par for course with me.  But I didn’t really find this dish fantastic, nor something I would have bothered making a return visit for.  For being one of the restaurant’s signature dishes, I have to say that it lacks any definitive character that any other noodle house couldn’t just as easily replicate.

Giving the restaurant one last chance, Jen and I ordered the Mango and Sticky Coconut Rice dessert.

BAM!

Finally, a winner.  The rice and mango perfectly complement one another, with each slice of mango a buttery slice of heaven with the pile of sticky coconut rice.  This dish doesn’t come off as too heavy or too sweet, and it’s one thing that Penang actually gets right.

Overall, the food here isn’t terrible, but it’s by no means great, either.  At best, I’d call it just average.  Service, unfortunately, is less than stellar.  Our waiter was almost never available or nearby at any time.  After having my chopsticks and fork taken by a busboy, I waited for five minutes before Jen walked over to a large table of guys and asked if she could take an unused pair of chopsticks from them.

See?  This girl is amazing.

As we were presented with the bill, I noticed that the total was much lower than I had expected, and noticed that we were presented with the wrong table’s bill.  I tossed in my credit card and handed it to the waiter, who returned with our actual bill, with nary a word of apology for mixing up the bill or explanation.

As we were leaving, the music was cranked up, as loud as neighbors banging it out through balsa wood thin walls on a Friday night.  This is the second time we’ve gone to an establishment only to have it turn into a club, but this time, the experience was more grating than amusing.  As we walked outside, a large security guard was busy patting down and running a metal detector wand over each person entering Penang, which makes me wonder if anyone’s been shot here recently.  Definitely not a practice I remember before Penang’s unfortunate blaze.  It’s highly unlikely that either of us will be returning to this new Penang ever again.

See Penang on a map here.

Recommended For:

• Lip Readers
• Oontz-Ootnz-Oontz-Oontz
• Twentysomethings
• Terrifying your Inlaws

Not Recommended For:

• Quiet Dinners
• First Dates
• Dumpling Whores
• Noodle Canoodlers
• Carbophobes
• Zone Dieters
• Paleoheads