Say it, Frenchie...

Bonjour-r-r-r-r-r!

Or bonsoir, as it’s getting on late in the night here in Paris. Jen and I are on vacation here in the land of wine, crepes, cheese, and chocolat. We’ll be back next week with a few stories and back to our regular schedule.

Until then…I wish you all…baguette.

CrossFit has substantially changed the way I view a healthy lifestyle. For me, it seems that the three fundamental components of the program are the fitness, the rest/recovery, and the nutrition.

A vast majority of CrossFitters typically follow the Zone Diet, the Paleo Diet, or a hybrid of the two. I’ll save the discussion of these diets for another time, but needless to say I’ve found that they’ve been brutally effective for me. And what about diets? There always seems to be some mystery and confusion shrouding anything that has the word “diet” in it, so I figured it’d be a good time to give a bit of what a diet really means.

The word seems to have the connotations of a quick fix to shed a few extra Chihuahuas off the waist and get one extra notch smaller on the belt loop. Or maybe a cleansing program that requires you to feed on nothing but lemons and rageahol for a week straight. But really, a diet should be much more than that. A diet should be sustainable, and something more along the lines of a way of life. The vast majority of Americans are given the amazing option to pick and choose what they eat. The problem is that we’re given such little information about what proper nutrition is, and the nutrition we are all given through general primary education is so completely off target. If you look at the revised food pyramid that is distributed by the USDA today, you’ll notice that it’s a much better system than what I remember having as a wee little Norm so many years ago. It’s slightly more balanced, but it still needs work.

Both of these are way off. Click on the image for an expanded view.

The very first slice of the pyramid advises all of us to eat at least 3 ounces of whole grains a day. But why? What are the benefits of consuming grains that make them an essential part of our daily diet? It mentions the fiber found in the grains listed as a health benefit, but not much else. Why not?

The grains that we all so often eat, choose, and enjoy in our lives aren’t actually helping us all that much beyond that. While they are cheap, easily stored, transported, and give us the calories we need to burn to carry out our daily tasks, it provides none of the nutrition of natural carbohydrates such as fruits and vegetables. But it goes even deeper than that.

A few people have heard of the terms glycemic load and glycemic index (especially if you have diabetes or are close to someone who does), but what does it really mean? Essentially, these are numbers that determine how quickly a food turns into sugar in your body, and the corresponding insulin response your body has to have to have to process this food. What does this mean? A diet filled with sugars (high fructose corn syrup, brown sugar, cane sugar, etc) and grains (bread, pasta, rice, quick oatmeal, etc) are known to be leading causes of obesity, and eventually from that, diabetes.

Grains (along with sugars) will send your glycemic levels absolutely skyrocketing (SKY ROCKETS IN FLIGHT! AFTERNOON DELIGHT!). The fact that grains are such a staple in our typical diets leaves me shuddering at the thought to those who are putting down slab after slab of bread without some sort of physical activity as recourse. It doesn’t even have to be as much of a hardcore fitness program as CrossFit, but something as simple as walking five miles or more a day can do wonders for your body.

So what am I saying here? Americans love their grains. A morning bowl of cereal. A nice deli sandwich for lunch. A few cold ones to knock back watching the game. Grains are intricately involved in our lives, as they are some of the most readily available foods that we live upon. Am I saying that we should get rid of grains altogether? Absolutely not!

Don’t get me wrong, I love a stack of pancakes with bacon, sausage, large three egg Western omelet and hash browns washed down with a hand dipped Cookies & Cream malt and coffee as much as the next person on a lazy Sunday afternoon (ask Jen sometime). But I don’t eat like that all the time. I know that meal is terrible for me and my body. I realize that meals like that are really something to be had once in a blue moon, because keeping up a pace of life like that would prematurely have me flying to that big buffet in the sky. So what am I suggesting? A reevaluation of diet sense from all of us. The more critical point is that moderation is essential. You could make the good and valid point that I talk about meals that don’t fit into what I preach. What I don’t mention here is that these meals I have of Indian food stacked with naan or pasta laden dishes aren’t the norm. I tend to limit myself to these extravagances up to 15% of the time, or about three meals out of the week. As far I’m concerned, that’s plenty to get your fill of what you want to eat, and maintain a healthy eating style for the rest of the week.

The Zone Food Pyramid, the right way to do it.

We definitely take the time to educate ourselves in our careers, to become more capable at performing our work and achieving our goals, which in turn, we hope will lead us to greater successes. A machinist will learn how to operate technologies to thread the bolts that holds our warships together. A cardiologist will learn about the available drugs to help save his patients from heart failure. An IT specialist will learn about the latest technologies to help him build better technological systems. So why aren’t we holding the same standard to being alive? Take the time to educate yourself on what a healthy lifestyle is. Take the initiative to learn how to more effectively and efficiently feed yourself, which in turn, I hope will allow each of us to experience a longer and better life.

Typically, I’m pretty allergic to raw, unprocessed apples. I’m not sure what it is about raw apples that sets me off, but I get a nasty, constricting feeling in my throat, and all hell breaks loose. I’ve never been able to enjoy the bite into a crisp Granny Smith or Fuji without wanting to completely claw my throat out.

Despite that, I’m totally fine with non-raw apples. Dehydrated apple slices, apple sauce, apple juice, apple butter, anything that’s not just a regular raw apple. So while fooling around a bit in the kitchen, I came up with this nice little recipe that’s a sweet variation on your typical scrambled eggs. This recipe hits the trifecta: it’s Paleo friendly, Zone friendly, and Vegetarian (ovo) friendly as well. Nice. Let’s get started.

Ingredients:

• 1 organic apple
• 1 teaspoon virgin coconut oil (extra virgin olive oil [EVOO] works too, but coconut oil has a better flavor!)
• 6 medium cage-free egg whites (or 3 whole medium cage-free eggs, or 3/4 cup eggbeaters)
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/3 cup of filtered water

Directions:

1. Dice apple into 1/4″ to 1/2″ chunks. They don’t have to be perfect cubes, but try to get the chunks to about that size.
2. Place diced apple chunks into a bowl, and sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon over them. Set aside.
3. In a medium sized non-stick skillet, heat 1 teaspoon of virgin coconut oil over medium heat for approximately two minutes, or until the oil is starting to get hot. Try to get the oil evenly coated on the skillet as best as you can.
4. Add cinnamon apples to the skillet, and sautee the apples for three minutes, constantly turning the apples in the pan.
5. Add half the water to the apples, and let the apples continue to cook, continually turning the apples. The water will boil and reduce, and you’ll notice that the mixture will start to get a slightly syrupy consistency.
6. Add the remaining water, continuing to turn the apples. Let the water reduce again to a syrupy consistency, and should be almost completely evaporated.
7. Add the eggs to the skillet, evenly coating the apples. Push in the sides of the eggs towards the middle and try to get the apples and eggs to mix as evenly as possible.
8. Once the eggs have cooked evenly, transfer the mixture to a plate. Sprinkle 1/4 cinnamon over the scramble.

And that’s it! Tuck in.

While this isn’t really the prettiest of recipes, it tastes great, and is a recipe that I can make for Jen to enjoy. If you’re looking to make this a perfect 3 block meal, you can top the Apple Scramble with the fresh fruit of your choice, or 1/3 cup of organic unsweetened apple sauce (1 block of carbs).

Stay away from the maple syrup though. Heathens.

Zone Blocks:
Protein: 3
Carbs: 2
Fat: 3

As a final note, allow me to give you a little disclaimer. Not everything in your recipe has to be organic, free range, etc. You can substitute in regular ingredients instead, but I always feel that the higher quality your food sources, the better your recipes will taste. That being said, you should do some research into when you should buy organic, and when it’s just a rip-off at the organic market. A good rule of thumb is that if there’s not a skin to whatever fruit or vegetable you’re planning on consuming that you can discard, it’s probably a safe bet to say you should go organic. Organic apples? Yes. Organic grapes? Yes. Organic cantaloupe? No. Organic dish sponges? Get outta here with that.

BBQ and steak are specialties in Texarkana, so my dining options are very limited. Six of us decided to head out for lunch and debated where to eat. Half of the city is under major highway construction. If you think the mixing bowl project was rough, this mess in Texarkana is even worse. If you are on one side of the highway, forget trying to go anywhere on the other side of the highway. I made this mistake-twice-and had the opportunity to pass the Texarkana water tower several times. I felt like a character in European Vacation.  As you can see on the water tower, the Texarkana motto is “Twice as Nice”. Twice as nice as what? Laredo? Texas City? Ok, maybe.

Texarkana Water Tower: Texarkana is Twice as Nice as...Anacostia! Woohoo!

One lunch guest had suggested the Ice House, but she was shut down quickly. Apparently, live animals were sold out of that building in the not so distant past. One member of our lunch bunch just couldn’t see eating in that environment. She said all of those animal particles were still floating around in the air. I thought this was hysterical and I agreed!

We set off for Zapata’s. The parking lot was packed and we had to circle like vultures to find a parking space. The restaurant was busy, but our service was great. They tucked us in to a small corner table. I like having my back to the corner so I can see the shooter when he comes in…so the table was perfect! The meal begins with baskets and baskets of chips. They also deliver large carafes of salsa with individual dipping bowls. They did this even before H1N1 (pronounced “Hinny Virus”, as in bum). Individual bowls are perfect because one does not have to fret about viral transmission routes during their fine Mexican meal.

I ordered the Vegetable Enchiladas. My guests ordered the fish special and the chicken fajitas. My meal was probably the least healthy meal on the table. The vegetables were fresh, but there was a lot of cheesy yumminess slathering those veggies. Those who chose the fish were delighted and admitted they order the same dish every visit. Those watching their waistlines were very pleased with the fajitas. The chicken was high quality breast meat with no skin. The veggies tasted fresh and crisp.

I like Zapata’s. It’s not Rosa Mexicano, but Texarkana is not DC. The ginormus dead animals hanging in the bar are a little over the top, but Texarkanians (???) love their carcasses, so this outsider can hardly complain.

The cost for lunch for 6 with a generous tip: $89. I say go.

Bibiana Osteria-Enoteca (directly translated to Bibiana wine cellar tavern) is another one of the aforementioned popular trend of Italian restaurants arriving in the DC metro region, and Bibiana sits near the heart of the District, at the corner of 11th St and New York Ave NW. The restaurant is a bit hard to find, as you have to walk around the block to find the right entrance to the restaurant if you’re coming in from any direction but south. The block is the former location of the main DC Greyhound Bus Station, although the only remnants of its former glory is an oversized greyhound logo at the north entrance to the building. On a side note, this does explain why so many NY-to-DC charter buses pick up and drop off people in the large parking across the street to the east.

The atmosphere inside is sleek and modern, which translates to dark with lots of sharp edges, and the possibility that you’ll trip over something going to or leaving your table. Luckily, no bloggers were injured in the review of this restaurant. The din of the other diners here can make it difficult to have a romantic dinner, but from what we saw, there seemed to be a greater attendance of quartets than couplets anyways.

The service in impeccable. Michael, Walter, Fred, or whatever generic American name our waiter had, was never more than a few steps away from our table, although nothing short of a blood curdling scream could cut through the noise in the room we were seated in and get his attention. Wildly flapping your arm up and down to flag down a waiter is much more effective here. He was never persnickety, despite our barrage of questions, which was fantastic given the fact that no one at the table could really understand half of what the menu was describing. Who really enjoys ordering something that doesn’t make any sense? I understand the appeal of having parts of the menu in Italian, but seriously, get it together. Put the descriptions in plain English unless you’re catering specifically to Italian diplomats.

Bibiana's Ideal Customer, the Italian Diplomat

The four of us in our party shared two appetizers: the saffron rice fritters and the whole figs stuffed with ricotta and topped with almonds and a balsamic reduction glaze. The fritters were, as best as I could compare them, a more subdued version of a hush puppy, although hush puppies tend to be much more satisfying than these fritters. I’m beginning to realize that while saffron is a fantastic spice and that I love how it tastes, it really doesn’t hold any dish down on its own. There has to be some sort of complementing flavor that doesn’t overwhelm the taste of saffron, but provides that happy dump of serotonin into your body when you bite into a truly amazing dish.

Saffron Rice Fritters

The other appetizer was much more enjoyable, and won over even the less intrepid tastes of Mandy and Jordan, our dinner guests for the evening. The figs had a mild sweet taste that well complemented the richness of the cheese, and the slight tart taste of the balsamic reduction, brought to perfection by the crunch of the sliced almonds.

Whole Figs with Ricotta, Almonds, and a Balsamic Reduction Glaze

To put it in a simple comparison, think of a perfect burger, and how each layer (buns, meat, cheese, and tomato/onion/lettuce) has a differing texture, giving you a certain satisfaction with every bite (the softness of the bun, the heartiness of the meat, the flavor of the cheese, and the solid crunch of a leaf of lettuce or a slice of red onion).

Creating the perfect burger is a life risking venture.

A well composed dish with not only have a symphony of complementing flavors, but also a multitude of textures to explore with every bite.

Or with a single bite, as our meals turned out. Every dish that was brought to our table seemed as if we were ordering from the children’s menu. Children with extremely refined gastronomic tastes who are bilingual and have a raging thirst for alcohol. Which oddly enough, is what I imagine most French children are like. Haugh Haugh Haugh!

The main courses came out due to the very dim lighting of the restaurant, were nearly impossible to photograph. I could have had Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, Santa Claus, and Tupac Shakur sitting at the next table, and STILL not have been able to get a good photograph in Bibiana. Not of the steak Jordan ordered, not of the gnocchi Mandy and Jen both ordered, and not of the lamb filled pasta special (the waiter called it something that he said translates to pocket, although it definitely wasn’t tasca, which leads me to believe he’s a dirty rotten fibber) (why he didn’t just effin’ call it ravioli is beyond me, probably because he’s a dirty rotten bugiardo).

Full gnocchi just doesn't have the same ring to it.

A ravioli is a ravioli by any other name

Not that I felt terribly saddened by this fact. Even though the dishes were of high quality ingredients and vibrant flavors, I have to reiterate how disappointed we all were with the portion. Maybe it’s the misconception we have as Americans that Italian food should be hearty and filling, but nobody at the table felt satisfied with the meal.

Which is a good thing that I picked up some Baked & Wired Cupcakes earlier in the day.

A quartet of Sock It To Me and Smurfette Cupcakes

Two Sock It To Me (Pecan and Cinnamon Swirls) and two Smurfettes (Lemon Raspberry) cupcakes, one for each of us.  We ended up splitting the cupcakes so we could each try half of one, and it really was good that we did, because the Sock It To Me cupcakes were the first disappointing cupcakes I’ve had from B&W.  The Smurfettes never let me down, and I still believe that their Pretty Bitchin’ (Peanut Butter) cupcake is my all time favorite in DC.

While the food quality here is of a very high caliber, you should be forewarned that you’re going to be paying a lot of euros for a tiny portion of food. I even felt that the dishes at Kora were a little light, but still vastly more satisfying that the food at Bibana Osteria-Enoteca. I’m grateful for the good company and the opportunity to eat here, but I’ll keep looking elsewhere to find a truly satisfying Italian meal here in DC.

Bibiana is for:

• Italian Supermodels
• Diplomats
• Loud Talkers
• High Rollers
• Italianophiles
• French Children

Bibiana is NOT for:

• Bargain Diners
• Ravenous Gastronoms
• Trapeze School Dropouts
• Capricorns
• Armenians
• French Children

View a map of Bibiana Osteria-Enoteca here.

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China Garden is just one of the few places in the DC metro area that serves an authentic dim sum (or yum cha) brunch on the weekends.

Let’s back up a second here and get you acquainted a bit with the terms.  Dim Sum, literally translated as “Touch the Heart”, refers to a Canton style brunch where restaurants have young Chinese women push stainless steel carts between tables, with each cart holding numerous dishes of seafood, pork, beef, chicken, vegetables, and desserts.  These dishes are served in steamers or small plates, and typically are served in portions for two to four people to share.  The phrase Yum Cha translates to “drinking tea”, and can be interchanged with the phrase Dim Sum, as they both refer to the same meal.

I’ll be the first to admit, the experience of yum cha in this area isn’t really the most pleasant.  The typical patrons lack tradional Western manners, which may be perceived as rude or even slightly unpleasant.  The hostesses and waiters tend to be very direct without the niceties, although the cart pushing girls are a little bit better.  The tables are usually clean, but you shouldn’t be surprised if they are a tad greasy when you arrive…and don’t bother queuing up unless you’ve got everyone who’s going to eat with you, or you’ll be shunned by herr hostess without a bat of an eye.

The bathrooms, well, let’s just say I strongly encourage you to hold your bladder, or find a place elsewhere to do your business after yum cha.

But don’t be scurred.  There’s a one really, really good reason why I’ll ignore all that and come to China Garden, time after time.

Dumplings

Carrot Sesame Paste Pastries

Taro Cakes

Egg Custard Tart

The food you get at yum cha is phenomenal.  A huge array of compartmentalized dishes, each with their own distinct tastes and flavors.  The dumplings and buns are by far some of my favorites, with the soft breaded exterior secretly holding delicious variations of meat or custards inside that are so incredibly delicious.

The one caveat is that you’ll have to steel yourself and come with an open mind for tastes and textures.  There are definitely a handful of dishes that are way off some people’s tolerance for consumption.  For example, chicken feet.  It’s a delicacy in China, and America, apparently, exports some of the best chicken feet in the world.  So good it’ll prevent a trade war between the two countries.

Still not good enough for me to ever eat them.  I’ve tried it once, and…BLARGH.  Not my cup of cha.

But BBQ pork buns?

Baked custard buns?

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

LOLWTFBBQPORKBUNS

Definitely $240 worth of pudding. Er, custard.

And the icing on the cake?  Most dishes won’t run you more than $4 a pop.

So a solid gorgeathon here will, with a generous tip, drain your wallet of about $16-25.  Not too shabby!

Most yum cha establishments have vegetarian dishes, but I wouldn’t feel entirely comfortable taking Jen here because I can’t definitively say that the vegetarian dishes we would order are definitely meat-product free. With that being said, there is a vegetarian only dim sum restaurant in New York’s Chinatown that is worth a visit.

China Garden is for:

• adventerous eaters
• dumpling lovers
• proficient chopstickers
• budget diners
• meat lovers
• gluttons

China Garden is NOT for:

• vegetarians
• germaphobes
• claustrophobes
• restricted carb diets
• paleo eaters
• mermaids

China Garden is located on the Mezzanine level of the Channel 8 7 building in Rosslyn. View a map here.

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As with all diets, there are considerations that really need to be thought of when you exclude a certain type of food from what you eat. If you exclude root beer from your diet, what the hell are you going to have with your ice cream? If you exclude mint from your diet, what’s going to take the crown when you can’t eat mint chocolate chip ice cream?

And with that, I bring us to the world of dairy. As a part of the paleolithic diet, I’ve really done my best to exclude dairy from my meals, save for the cheat meals where ALL. BETS. ARE. OFF. An interesting fact I’ve learned, though, is that dairy does provide the human body with innumerable benefits- in this case, probiotics. The Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) defines probiotics as, “Live microorganisms which when administered in adequate amounts confer a health benefit on the host.” There are many studies touting the benefits of probiotics in one’s diet (and of course, likely an equal number of studies claiming the harm of probiotics. The latter of these studies are conducted by chimpanzees in lab coats.) Really though, only a single therapeutic trial has shown that probiotics negatively affected the health of those who suffer from acute pancreatitis, but beyond that, there has been no other documented data showing anything but positive effects on the human body.

In our modern and industrialized nation, dairy is an immensely powerful source of nutrition. It is a superior source of probiotics, protein, and even calcium. So what do you do when you want all the benefits of dairy, but are restricted from having it in your everyday life?

I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butcher's word for it.

In my research, I toiled the search mines of Google (for 0.21 seconds, according to the super search giant) and found that fermented foods such as sauerkraut, Kombucha, miso, ginger beer, kimchi, water/coconut kefir, or even sour pickles will adequately provide you with the probiotics you need the healthy bacteria in your life.

I can’t say I recommend ginger beer floats though if you’re trying to stay Paleo, Zone, or Paleo-Zone, but you’d definitely get your dose of probiotics with a large scoop of lactose free ice cream floating around in this stuff.

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Vegetarians routinely rely on too much dairy for protein. In an attempt to scale back on dairy, I stopped drinking animal milk this year. Prior to giving up cow milk, I was drinking at least 12oz of moomilk every day in a Starbucks Chai Tea Latte-sugar mixed with more sugar. With my new focus on skincare and continual interest in healthy living, I began to investigate the impact of cow’s milk on skin health. I was specifically interested in how it may affect tweens and teens who are pushed to drink milk by their parents and who also fight acne…and never seem to win.

This is what I found:

Acne occurs when steroids (androgens) stimulate the sebaceous glands within the skin’s hair follicles. These glands then secrete an oily substance called sebum. When sebum, bacteria and dead skin cells build up on your skin, the pores become blocked, creating a zit.

What do you expect? When teenagers combine their own surging hormones with dietary saturated animal fat, cholesterol, steroid hormones, dead white blood cells, and cow pus, they’re gonna get zits. The good news: The cure is an easy one: Stop drinking milk. (from www.notmilk.com)

I gave up milk after I read Skinny Bitch and realized how much cow pus drops into milk during collection. That little nugget of disgusting information was all it took to inspire the big change. Knowing that the change to soy milk is benefiting my skin is a nice added bonus. Also, milk is full of sugar. My Dad can’t drink it because he is diabetic. This is not the healthiest of beverage options as the dairy industry has begged us to believe. Try soy milk. It’s not the same as moomilk, but it’s a yummy, healthier alternative. Silk Light Vanilla Soy is my favorite.

Kora is one of the latest in a deluge of new Italian restaurants in the DC area, and the second restaurant by Chef Morou and his wife, Heather. The couple’s first restaurant, Farrah Olivia, has been closed since April, which has given Morou the time to properly focus his attention on Kora.

The new restaurant takes the place of the now shuttered Bebo Trattoria, and is named after Morou’s youngest daughter, who smiles proudly from an oversized pop art piece on one of the walls of the restaurant. The atmosphere is modern, but the type of modern you feel from perusing the home furnishings of a west elm catalog. Modern, simple and could easily transform into a retail space with a sales clerk hawking African ebony floating shelves for $800. Wall mount screws sold separately.

I digress. A lot.

The restaurant opens up to a large hostess table, and a large pizza oven that likely burns the midnight wood churning out flat breaded deliciousness.

Speaking of bread, the carbtastic surfboards served here are fantastic. They’re baked to perfection, with a slighly crispy exterior, and an aromatic soft center that smells vaguely of herbs. Make sure to get a few dabs of olive oil, poured into a dish of basil, fresh ground pepper, and sea salt. Tuck in.

I opted for a half gnudi to start. Half gnudi? I know, you must be thinking one of two things.  Which half?

Gnudi on top

Gnudi on the bottom

Not quite. (but if you’re going to make me choose, I’d prefer going gnudi, Donald Duck style) Gnudi is a pasta that could probably be best described as a light gnocchi. It also has a much softer and chewier texture, and pulls apart like a piece of bread. In fact, I’d say it’s almost like a little dumpling, and this is definitely one dish that Kora does right. It’s served on top of a small lake of parmesan cream sauce, accompanied by a good dose of caramelized onions, asparagus, and sauteed spinach to top.

Half Gnudi with caramelized onions and a parmesan cream sauce

I love this gnudi so much, I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.  Despite the pasta and the cream sauce, this dish doesn’t make you feel overly stuffed.  Well, it might to a normal person, but not to a Norm on a cheat meal.  And you know how I treat cheat meals.

BURN IT TO THE GROUND.

Next, I tried the restaurant’s Salmone.  Pan seared Norwegian Salmon on a bed of sauteed spinach and saffron orzo, a veritable raft floating between the Creamy Basil and Saffron Infused Butter oceans.  Sounds good, right?  And again, the presentation is on point.  The taste?

Salmon with saffron orzo on a paired creamy basil and saffron infused butter sauce

Eh.  It falls a little flat.  The salmon is perfectly cooked, as are the spinach, orzo, and sauces, but this dish doesn’t really excite me.  Saffron tends to be a mild spice, and this dish tasted like it needed something else to really make it stand out.  For me, I felt like the salmon was the culprit.  The seared sides of the fillet almost begged for some sort of salted crust, but it just didn’t have the gustatory sensation I expected from the first to my last bite.

On a quick side note, the server gave me the wrong order of Salmone (I ordered the medium rare variant).  It’s an easy enough mistake (did you say steak?) to make when there’s three orders of it at the table, but it stands out in my mind after reading numerous review of how the service is lacking at Kora (apparently the leased space has a bad service curse attached to it, Bebo was plagued with similar problems).  It’s a simple error though, and really I’m just pointing out one minor mixup.  Our server was pretty good for the rest of our meal, always keeping our drinks filled (correctly!) and always popping in to serve the food or check on us at exact the right times.   I just swapped plates with the person sitting next to me (who also ordered the Salmone) and all was right again in the world.  Birds were singing.  Clouds were clouding.  Western Michigan still sucks.

So what next?  If you happen to be a bargain hunter, your 3 course power lunch included a dessert, which on the menu, all look delicious, decadent, and likely to cause temporary blindness.  Much like a half gnudi of Bea Arthur.

Except…except I couldn’t decide.  That, and I didn’t order the power lunch special.  So I went with my gut and ordered the Tiramisu.  The tiramisu here is an espresso laced caked, layered with mascarpone cheese, and a heavy dollop of zabaglione.  Then the chef knocks over a giant shaker of cinnamon and voila!  Edible art.

Tiramisu with espresso laced sponge cake, mascarpone cheese, and zabaglione cream

Two thumbs up on the presentation again, and this time, the taste delivers.  Nothing about this dish is overwhelmingly sweet, and it’s the perfect cap to an Italian meal.

If you’re a normal person who’s not on a cheat meal.

So I did what I’d normally do in these sorts of situations.  I ordered two desserts.  I opted for the Bongo Bongo.  A quartet of cream puffs, filled with a rich chocolate sauce, topped with a chocolate semi freddo and surrounded by alternating cranberry and almond dipping sauce pools.  Not as good as the tiramisu, but still tastefully done.

Bongo Bongo with chocolate coming out of every orifice

While I think Kora still has a few wrinkles to iron out, and could possibly use some tweaks to their dishes, the restaurant is a great places to get a truly fantastic Italian meal.  The breads and pastas here are great, and I highly, highly recommend the gnudi. It is literally is worth the trip over to Kora for a full gnudi.  None of the dishes are uberheavy, even with butter or cream sauces, so you’ll have room for dessert.  Best of all, the prices aren’t outrageous, so if you’re willing to look over the fact that it’s not downtown in the District, you’ll be happy with what Morou has to offer. View a map of Kora here.

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Jen and I were on the prowl for some late night dinner options, and through the audible rumble of my stomach, discussed our options for the evening. We decided to give Fire&Sage at the Metro Center Marriott a shot.  The restaurant is outfitted with modern decor, vibrant colors, and enough hotel patrons in bunny slippers to make you wonder if you’ve come a bit overdressed.  The attire is definitely on the casual side, which was perfect for us, as neither of us really wanted to throw on the evening gown or tuxedo.  Especially since my only evening gown was ruined at prom anyways.  But that’s an entirely different blog post.  The restaurant does have some of the most comfortable leather seats either of us have ever sat in at a restaurant.  Those chairs were probably stolen from a personal library containing many leather bound books and a crackling fireplace.

The menu doesn’t really break any ground in bleeding edge cooking techniques, but there are a ton of comfort food options that are executed pretty well.  We started by splitting the Baked Chevre (said with the same slight spitting and pronouncing fumble you would saying Brett Favfffrffe…ffe) that is essential a log of baked Goat Cheese gently wading in a pool of olive oil, with a poolside of crispy buttered french loaf slices for you to toss in like innertubes.  Super tasty, but also a bit heavy on the fats.

Baked Charvvvvvrffffre

Jen and I also each ordered a flatbread.  She got the Wild Mushroom, topped with shiitake, portobello, cremini and a good dose of shaved parmesan, which she liked.  I ordered the Calabrese, topped with calabrese sausage, sun dried tomatoes, arugula and buffalo mozzarella.  The cooks pile on the ingredients, but they don’t overwhelm you with the proportions, which is really good.  I thought the Calabrese was a bit too salty with the combination of the sausage and sun dried tomatoes, but that’s not to say I didn’t really enjoy it.

The service here, at least with our server, was fantastic.  He was on it-on it for the entire evening.  I never had an empty drink, and we never had a plate brought to us that wasn’t given served without a healthy side of genuine enthusiasm.  You’d think we were eating at the world’s most expensive bistro with his unrelenting ebullience.

The big driver for us to visit Fire&Sage, though, was one dessert that really spoke to the both of us.

Seriously?  A hot bag O’ doughnuts?  HOW COULD I LOSE?  The menu mentioned something about honey butter and strawberry compote, but a steamy bag o’ doughnuts was too tempting to resist.  The waiter, Jebus bless his soul, even wafted the donuts in Jen’s general direction, and offered to bring a small dipping bowl of molten chocolate to us.  Good thing he did, because unfortunately, that was the only thing that saved this dish.  The deep fried balls of dough served in a waxed bag fell flat of our expectations.  They were a bit too fried, lacking the soft texture or sweetness that I was envisioning.  The honey butter was also a bit bland, and the strawberry compote was entirely too tart for either of us.

Bag O' Doughnuts with Honey Butter and Strawberry Compote

Great in theory, a little lacking in execution.

So here’s the verdict.  Dinner at Fire&Sage?  Next time, I’d pass.  Lunch at Fire&Sage if you’re looking for a good option near Metro Center?  Definitely.  The food is pretty good, the prices are reasonable, and the Larry David lookalike waiters are great!  Just skip the Hot Bag O’ Deepfriedness when you go.

Don't cry Brett. I promise Bambi's Mom isn't really dead. Hey, let's go to Beef Jerky Unlimited and get you a nice bag of treats.

View a map of Fire&Sage here.

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